“Paradise”

“Paradise”

Ah, my bed!

I’ve missed you.

It’s been a long day,

Have you missed me?

 

The sweet release of tension,

As I climb beneath your sheets,

The way you caress my head as I close my eyes,

And drift peacefully off to sleep.

Now if only,

I could get the boyfriend to do the same.

“The Adventure”

“The Adventure”

I’m back up on my feet!

I will succeed!

I’m doing this for me!

So, don’t call me WEAK.

Don’t try to get in my way.

If you’re not here to support me, you’re no longer welcome to join me on this journey!

 

The adventure is HALF the fun of getting there!

Yes, life is going to try and change your plans.

Sometimes you have to detour.

Maybe today, I didn’t make the mark.

But that’s never going to stop me from trying again!

So yes, I will succeed.

Because the way you measure success is differently than me.

 

Now, are you coming or not?

“Burrito”

“Burrito”

I’m so cold.

Wrap me like a burrito?

Add more blankets, please?

Until I’m barely visible.

Can you come and lay on me?

Oh! Just one more thing!

 

Little, silly moments like these are my favourites.

They’re the small gestures to show your affection.

It’s how you help me mend a scar made long before you were apart of my life.

Seemingly small, nothing things that mean the world to me.

I love you, you adorkable man.

Thank you. ❤️

“Puddles”

“Puddles”

A little bit of rain could never stop us.

Ready or not, here we come!

Grabbing knee-high socks and rain boots as we run outside.

Jumping and splashing,

In any puddle we could find.

Don’t ever lose the child inside.

“Mama Bear”

“Mama Bear”

Mama bear,

I see you.

Fighting back the tears of frustration and exhaustion.

Spending long days and nights.

Trying to maintain a house to unrealistic standards

Blamed for anything that strays from the normal.

You’re doing okay, mama.

You’re fine.

Stay strong, mama bear.

You got this.

“Oh, Sweet Death”

“Oh, Sweet Death”

Watching, waiting

In the dark, we’re staying

You’re kind and gentle

And often misunderstood.

You‘re feared and not always fair,

so it feels.

Your hands are icy cold

with a strong iron-cast grip.

Once you grab, you don’t let go.

Your eyes are piercing

seeing into my very soul

already knowing where I’m going.

Please hold my hand

as you suck my last breathe of life away.

“Mindless”

“Mindless”

I’m scrolling, mindlessly.

My mind absorbing all the messages.

The good, the bad, the ugly.

Infecting the way I think,

Affecting the way I act.

Social media is a powerful thing.

We must be careful with how it’s used.

“Babbles”

“Babbles”

I often feel like I babble about absolutely nothing and what I say holds no weight because no one’s listening anyway but if they did, they may just find that within my babbles are my state of mind, always wandering, always spinning, always changing in direction, so much that I sometimes wonder if I’ve lost my mind for where would my mind go, does one ever really know, for a mind is a mind of its own and it’s free to roam here, there, and everywhere, never staying for very long.

“NO MERCY!”

“NO MERCY!”

Defeated.

Reorganize.

New plan.

Action.

Results.

Progress.

 

One step at a time.

We’ll get through this.

“A New Wall”

“A New Wall”

I’ve come to a wall.

It seems to stretch forever in either direction.

It’s not a tall wall.

But I’m too tired to climb.

Dig? No, that’s ridiculous.

What do I do?

It’s a simple wall.

Not too tall, but big enough to block my way.

The climb won’t kill me if I fall.

So why aren’t I tackling it?

Why have I stopped?

My feet aren’t stuck, I can still freely move about.

But I’m standing still.

Do I need a rest?

Surely, this can’t be the end.

I’ve climbed many walls before.

How is this one any different?

 

Oh, right.

It’s not.

It’s me.

I’ve changed.

It’s no longer just me that has to climb over.

It’s my partner. My daughter. My family.

I don’t just care for me anymore.

Shouldn’t that be my fuel?

Why am I still not motivated?

How do I change that?

Can I change that?

 

I don’t know.

I don’t have all the answers anymore.

And I’m so tired.