The Poetry Marathon

Is where it doesn’t

Feel meddlesome

Day or night

Somebody cherished will come along

To bolt the entryways

And near the light

That basic giggle

From out the patio will set me down

To tune in right

And on entry you will be there

To touch my lips

With magnificent whites

It is aesthetic to sit with your thoughts

Having conversations with yourself

Whether it be a solo bus ride home

Or with your early morning caffeine

A lonesome walk from the busy west to east crossover

The ramblings and rants of others blur

Imbecile to the prudence and impressions of people

To let your thoughts saunter along

To detach your consciousness

To salvage yourself from expectations

It is indeed a privilege

It is sweet and sweeter than ever

To just be!!

I wish I could write the way I think

Incessantly, infinitely, frantically

To the point of suffocating thoughts

But I write nothing closely

My thoughts not in sync with my actions

Desperately fixing myself when nothing is broken

Gathering pieces which never shattered

An illusion I created on my own

My agony labelled me as unique

The way I see the world is not how it is

Mending the broken world around me

Allowing myself a sense of peace

Egotistical I am to fix others and ignore my flaws

Finding closure for the wounds inflicted on me

I am not patching myself up

Vanishing in the sound of silence

Outside of time in empty space

I am nowhere, I am nowhere

* Over a decade ago, I felt something like this, as if I didnt exist and I was nowhere

As she stared at the deep reds and the purple sunset
She walked into the shadows of a red brick building
That was her high school, her old school
Along the library that smelt of old books
Under the tree, where she spent her lunches
She climbs the stairs only to find the cemented couch
Which is painted in a different color
The chatter and cheer of friends echoes her ears
She goes down memory lane
Thinking loud “The past draped us like cloak”
The years lived through has shone bright
Only to leave shadows behind.

Words seem empty

And they can betray

Pushing things to the edge

Knowing my faults

The horror sinks in

You would no longer be near

Filled up with remorse

If it’s worth, I am sorry

Turning in to a monster

You know very well

Our love is on the line

I want you beside me

I wish I can say that

The hurt I have caused you

And the pain I have put you through

A fear which grows inside me

Of losing you forever

I still make mistakes and mess up

But the only mistake I will regret

Is the one, one where I lose you

So here I come to you in shambles

Hope you see, that I want you forever

That I love you

I hold on to these strings of words.

Not succeeding in a suicide attempt

The girl finds herself in an asylum

With her heart damaged

Unsure of a life

She waits for death to come

As she sees life with a different perspective

Admires the beauty of nature from her window

The grey Ljubljana mornings

She endures the changes within

Nearing her extinction

Unaware of her gut feelings

Her survival instincts holding up

She has a lovely life

Family, friends at the beck of her call

Lacking a direction in life

She seems so lost

She thinks only about life

As if life is unfair

Trying to find her niche

Deciding of the dark thought

As the story unfolds

She is hopeful of much more from life

Strives to listen to her own emotions

Bringing alive the urge to survive

Such tenderness in your touch

As a dove can have

Sheltering under her warm wings

Tenderness came to you with time

Love is all everyone needs

Feeling less all alone

Tenderness in the melancholy

Knowing once you cared

We built memories together

Tenderness in those moments

Do you recall the intimacy?

Or it has become all a past?

Tenderness in the passionate warmth

When we entwined

Those feelings don’t wash away

Tenderness in those memories

Which I will preserve

As proof that you did once care.

I know not how to bake a cookie

Scared of the crumbs that fall off

They taste so sweet and precious

A mix of chocolate almonds and raisins

Crunch is the sound it makes

Hot chocolate oozing

I am not perfect and so aren’t you

Cracked and broken like me.

Soaked by the morning sun

The dark haze of ice

Sat at the watchtower

Not moving my eyes

A maze of days gone by

Not able to place time

Sunk in yesterday’s love

People talking in rhyme

The shadows making portraits

Like an artist’s stoke

Lost hues striking hard

Believe me it’s no joke

Like an eye of the pirate

Many times, many ways

Delirium working full time

The hidden side of my phase

‘Wher’ to go first?

Planning my first move

A need to set myself free

Get into the right groove

Sat at the watchtower

Thinking about life

As I lay my head down

Comes along in the time of strife.

Moments of trials no one expected

As the buzzing city finally slept

Turning days gloomy and unreal

Nights into a dark tomb inadept

Fearing the air what it could hold

Unaware of the days and time passing by

Hope, it is stuck in the past

Bearing each moment with a weeping eye

Peeping through the window to a new world

Standing through losses and pain

Masked faces difficult to perceive

Keeping a distance, no one can complain

Streets walked down have become unknown

Dreams are the only places we know

Bereaved off our years and months

Nature has put on its own show

Moments flying by, as we stand still

Sun rises and sets across the horizon

Hoping the uncertain storm to subside

Calling out to freedom in anticipation of living