The Poetry Marathon

tinned soup

Sunday nights long ago
when mum had passed out

would make my own tea
canned soup & toast soldiers

heat soup in pan on stove
lightly toast bread buttergold

tomato was my favourite
diluted with a little milk

soldiers dunked in the mug
till soggy & exquisitely moosh

tonight straight from the tin
cold & without buttered toast

— i’m struggling to recall its appeal

stones

in tonight’s house : the boy finds : a Mancala set : wordlessly demands : instruction : i teach him : it doesn’t take long : the beauty of it : & probably the reason :  it’s lasted : thousands of years : & may be : one of our earliest : boardgames : the rules : are so simple : as I watch : the boy & girl : play : she is rapidly : collecting : all the stones 

i try not : to see : the symbolism

Lookout

Ryan wants to detour to Septimus Hill
Where there’s a lookout overlooking
Half the plains to the sea
Been arguing about it for hours

He wants to get a lie of the land
Like he imagines himself a kind of General
His words: foolish, a nonsensical notion
But since he’s driving we do regardless

I worry we’ll be too exposed on bare rock
Why take any additional unnecessary risk?
But we do. Park partway up the hill
While there is still tree cover of a kind

& hike. Twenty minutes of thigh-crunching
Slog! The did I get so unfit? I play netball.
I run. But right now I burn. Whereas my oddball
Ironman has barely cracked a sweat.

Finally arrive at the summit & wish I had water
A couch, & a masseuse who knows acupuncture
Amazed just how much dust there is
Between here & the blurred horizon

& for the first time — I realise — how quiet
No insects, very few almost hesitant birdcalls
(no song) & no sign of movement on any roads
In any paddock in any direction

The stillness is sublime. Until we see a car
Slowly trundling along a distant road.
Almost instantly a drone roars in from the south
Two quick bolts of light & the car’s smoking.

The sonic boom hits us a few seconds later.
Shit Ryan remarks drily. Might have to rethink our approach.

absences

Beloved brother

i remember 

i.
spending endless hours trying to teach “I love you”
in Russian: Ya lyublyu tebya without success
if only I’d tried Yellow blue tibia I might’ve succeeded

ii.
walking round the cathedral after midnight in mist
looking for the cross you’d dropped earlier in the day
we were unsuccessful in that — but it’s still a favourite memory

iii.
talking to you about the car crash that killed him
& how i’d hit the bottle so fucking hard afterwards
it wasn’t fair to find — then lose — eternity so quickly

now you’re gone, how, how to go on

halluc:nogen 

my hardback is : too heavy to hold

so i half-dream : of sunflowers : knitting cheddar : cheese satchels : for their favourite gardeners : to keep seeds in

there is no space : on the pavement : for my wine glass . this angers me : more : than it rightly should

if i could nail my protests : to an old oak door : i would

old pianos

when i was a girl visiting
my grandparents in Tassie
i came across an old piano
in the forest flaking veneer
like the shoulders of a sunburnt child

there was an old hut nearby
& i wondered if the owners
had been moving the piano
either in or out of their home
(i could never decide which was saddest)

when they just up & left
what could cause them to
abandon something which
was clearly once so precious
why were they drawn away so suddenly

wait! the reason i ask does connect :
will that be all left of our world
in a hundred year’s time — just
old odd bits of junk being eaten
by rain & washed away by chords of wind?

Agent Orange

all this red dust in the sky : gets in your eyes : doesn’t irritate or itch : but plays tricks : on what you know is there: but feels like it isn’t : or can’t be 

for instance : that crop : can’t : just can’t : be pink : nor the leaves of that tree : bloodred : yet that is what your head tells you : you shake it : worry you’ll break it : it’s all a toxic shock of neon colour : & you’re brain’s in pain : & you wish your mum : would come back to life : again : or that it would rain : not necessarily in Spain : but on this astral plane : it’s no fun guys 

& as i start : to understand : what’s happening to me : Stella has thrown : a shoe full of water : in my face

thanks i splutter : as my thoughts : stop rhyming : resume some sense : some ability 

i think that dust : is a drug : like LSD : or magic mushrooms

you don’t say : i snake bite at her : even though it’s not : at all : Stella’s fault : suddenly feeling hungry 

L-plate hitch-hiker

not sure what
Ryan thinks he’ll do
now he’s clinging —
to the edge of
one of those things —

while it might’ve seemed
an excellent idea
inside his scattergun brain
we never discussed —
now — this moment

as white metal
— rises —
with him hanging on
& no obvious way inside 

i tell the little ones
to turn away
they don’t —
understandably

he should let go now
before he’s too high
— to fall

(Hour 01) 10.30-11.30pm. IMAGE PROMPT: spiky sculpture in snow

nuerons

that’s the third : spiky structure i’ve seen : slowly floating past : ominous : misshapen oversized Soviet-era crown : metal neuron : cold steel-like structure : somehow sucking in light & not letting go : defying all the physics i know

not sure how they move : what propulsion system they use : technology well beyond my ken : & though i’d love to find out : i’m not stupid enough : yet : to approach one : something in me : aches to know more

being close to a mystery : & not knowing is agony : even if that knowledge : most likely : has the potential : express purpose even : of obliterating : us

the gift

: i’m giving : is to myself : to stop beating : myself up : over an idea : a good idea : any idea : when exhaustion : is winning : my eyes : are squealing : the gift : i’m giving : is the gift : of giving : up : accepting : a bad : short : pome : rapidly executed : right now : is infinitely better : than a perfect poem : meticulously constructed : & submitted : an hour from now : & so : flights of angels : etc :