Hour 24: Two poems for Dad ( I miss you:(

Dear Dad,

Why did you hav to go? I miss you so.

You died with a smile. But when I found you with your last breath your mouth was  ajar. You were warm to the touch as I turned you over to dress you and your nails were perfect like seashells.

We dressed you in a grey cotton shirt Bob Marley shirt and a black sport leisure pants I was keeping for you when you came back to visit me out west.

I want to try things to be closer to you.

Im not a smoker not I ever be like Clinton, can I puff without inhaling?

I’m no longer shy to try. Or at least that’s what I say.

Of course I need a sacred experience. In the meantime I’ll read the books your did, maybe not as judiciously as you.

I’ll try an audio book so I can also do the exercise routine that you created and taught me.The routine  you are so fond of doing five days a week.

I’m still a pro at he five minute plank.

My tummy needs some tightening because like you I have a sweet tooth. Thanks for calling  me to meal plan and always talking me about my health. It meant so much to me hearing your  voice. I knew you were tired and now I  understand that extreme fatigue and even slight dehydration are serious signs before an all systems down failure.

You did not experience pain. We wanted to make your bed as comfortable as could be. They tried to give you medicine in excess. We know you needed the rest.
Your visions were vibrant and vidid. Your visions clear.  We stayed with you at home till the very end. Mom and both my brother and I did not understand how water, the giver of life, was not longer allowed.

This was another one of the harsh realities.

I would love to do more than a meditation with the family.  You are my best student. I willl be a teacher, a photography teacher like you. What a coincidence. I want to travel too. I love the world and learning about science, nature, and culture  the threshold of the esoteric. Please continue to send me signs as the eye are over and my ear  is too.

I love you.  We all do. Sending love from the three of us.

Hour 23: The arrival

A package arrives what could it be?

We know, yet the package has taken the place of the letter.

Its happiness in a wrapped box or soft mailer. It’s wrapped up anticipation or something new, useful, an indulgence  that has become  new way for some magic not your or mine, unless se are hones to and follow that the ease of the luxuries blues of summer, a wish in to linger. I dream of a Jeanie the Jetsons, or the the Clampits who stuck it rich.

Its our new method clinging with first world lilies unless we are out working or cultivating hobby other than shopping for that rain day.in a world full of connect around the world on the wall on every street corner.

Wwger er forge the dateando instead anticipate the comfort of home no lchllent to be met unless gains ourself we tech  see a new face.

 

( I can no longer read my own writing.) Will have to nap and wake to finish.

Hour 22: Gigantic Oceans Five The Gigan

Find me by the sea.

Where all ages are free to be

 

We seek calm.

At dawn, midday, sunset, twilight, or in the quiet of the night.

All our troubles fade away.

 

We search for truth in the sand.

We find peace

In the land.

 

Our hearts can finally be at ease.

Among the trees and cool breeze.

 

Here is where I long to be.

With my family.

 

We search for truth in the sand.

We find ourselves.

Our minds come to rest.

 

We can just be.

We are finally free.

Hour: 12 Astronaut of the Sea Come for me

Lust… a longing untold for someone or something that cannot be possessed.

An indulgence of the heart, body, and mind.

Now I know wholeheartedly that I seek all three exclusively.  The trinity. No longer will I open my heart to one, or two.  I desire all three intrinsically.

If you are the trinity I will not ever know at the rate we vibrate.

I need human touch, mind connection, soul seduction of the purist kind.

Come to me only if you are ready for true love.

As long as it is real you will have my heart.

My energy rivals the sun and the moon who know how to play hide and seek without jealousy.

No rivals necessary.  I need our love to express the male and female energy equally.

I’m competitive when necessary so don’t challenge me unnecessarily.

There is too much in this world to tackle globally, nationally, and locally that need my heart and mind to be in-sync. I need to fight only the good fight and possibly get into good trouble as John Lewis would say.

Let’s not fight each other in the future even though we have not ever shared a harsh word or thought… only love over the airwaves.

Doubt is the only demise of any relationship friendship or otherwise.

The tides are controlled by lunar vibes and the weather is impacted by the solar flares.

I do not need inconsistency or surges that interfere with a mercurial mind.

I am pure energy and and I seek only pure energy exchange.

I need a steady hand that has no reason to rock the boat other than to fight the good fight for all that is plaguing the world today.

To make it a better world for future generations.

Why tempt or tease unless the purpose is to please?

The world is already difficult… all I have is genuine love to give and receive.

I thought it could be the other “L” word yet you proved to me it was only lust.

For years we teased and flirted.  I did not take you seriously.

You said that you watched me from a far. You were my star gazer and I became yours.

You an adonis of the sea and I a lover of all celestial, complimented by science and art.

I did not mind being in your orbit. A star gazer at heart too. You mysterious yet balanced and kind or so I dreamed you to be, connected to the the heavenly constellations in the sky and I an admirer of astronomy the scientific study of the stars.  Too shy to make the link to astrology, I was becoming more open to ways of the world ancient and modern.  I thought the stars were aligning, and the universe making way for two beautiful hearts that were following passions all on their own.

Why couldn’t we two be?  One who did not want to be possessed but wanted.  There is a difference you know. I allowed my heart to indulge, yet I could not go all the way.

Some questions arrived and I needed you to show up, in action and with a clear conscience clear concise.

You instead slipped into the background, yet I can not play behind the scenes. Not for very long. I am a leader, yet I do not need to be out front for everyone to see.  That was the old me.  I need to be front and center from the jump start. If your heart is too shy to see the depth and genuine nature that is me then you answered every question I had or will ever have.

I can be skeptical. My heart is strong.  My love is too. I choose though not to let the softer side of me show until I am in the presence of the one that I can be me entirely.

Will we ever now if the power of attraction is in the air.

I know how to allow my uncertainty turn into shy insecurity. Its the clock and dagger that I wear. I do not want to sabotage this connection yet I desire a strong connect to change my mind.

I am not weak yet I can fool you with my natural naitivity, if you do not challenge me positivly.

Then somehow your forwardness allowed me to let down my guard.

Yet I should have known.

As a woman I have no qualms about being the fantasy.

The fantasy is me in reality,

I can allow my heart to roam,and go off course temporality to give us both space so our orbits can collide only when the time is right giving birth to the most glorious birth a of a start.  I do not want a brief yet brilliant supernova as some do.

I need a slow and steady burn to increase over time to fuel the entire solar system and beyond.

I aborted ship early to see if you would seek me and you tethered so far away that I lost track of you and me.

Did you want me to chase your shadow. Like an eclipse that paints all the leaves in the shape of crescent moons. I’m a trendsetter I cannot follow what I do not know.  I listen to the flow.

When you know you know.

I think of you still. Yet, that’s just it… we can see each other in our dreams as you told me.

I sent you pictures of nature all around me and you said wanted only me.

This caused me hesitation and second guessing what and who I needed to be true.

I am a multitude of thoughts, action, and mind therefore I need my mystery man to be as multidimensional as I am.

I thought time would tell and I was willing to wait and see, yet my curiosity and imaptience got the best of me.

The stars seem to be aligning all the time.Maybe I’ll catch you on the flip side.  I won’t hold my breath. I’m an stargazer too and a mermaid seeking depths that challenge the constrictions of mankind. The universe is my playground like the ocean is uncharted.

Both represent the desire I have for life. I can not focus that on man alone. Nature is my muse as he is mine. The is my dealing with lust.

Come find me when you can share me equally and at the same time allow me to be exculsive to you.

I know not any other way.  So many conventions of love are expanding as I am.

As you said you would not ask of me what you wouldn’t do.

Mutual exclusivity… unless there is a another way.

I need to know you to love you and so if I do not get to know you then how can we be more than that four letter word?

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