jonah7pm

I’ve left God on hold
for far too long-
started to pray-
only to tell him
that I’d be right back
and never came back

I wonder why it is-
he sticks around.
It’s not like I make him
a priority-
Except for the obvious

when things go wrong
when I need prayer
When there’s a death
or simply when I feel wronged

Why is that?

anytime I call out
he’s there
anytime that my life is in danger
He’s there
anytime I need something
you guessed it
He’s there

I’m sorry God
I’m a horrible human being
selfish
obnoxious
toxic
unworthy of love and respect
just-
Unworthy

I don’t understand how or why
you love me
how others love me
how they care for me
it annoys and angers me
sometimes

Do you do well to be so angry
my little crab?

what was that?
I swear I hear someone
saying I have no right to
be angry.
But that can’t be true

I’ll pay it no mind
It doesn’t matter
other people’s opinions-
of course, I do well
to be angry
It is my right

I’m just going to leave
it here and see what happens
I have my comfort and my needs
are met.
But something’s lacking

Do you do well to be angry
My little crab?
I’ll ask you once more
Answer me

I have a RIGHT to be angry
I turned my back and she
threw me out on the sidewalk
Who does that?

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