Divinity Inside of Us

Divinity inside of us
Is what creates this art form
Our hearts are not always
Under control
Our souls can fly wild
For awhile or always
Evoking expression
To share with other humans
Having this commonly
Uncommon experience
Together, on our own

Sweatpants

The fat lazy woman in sweatpants
Complaining she’s fat
Blaming motherhood for that
While eating a Snickers

That’s who I called mom
She called her dad
Whenever anything ever
Went even slightly wrong

I learned little from her
Except, maybe, what not to do
To be a strong grown woman
I mustn’t be like you, Mom

4:20 A.M.

4:20 A.M.
We meet again
I am so lonely, lacking
I am wide awake
I could use some mood improvement
I could use a high
To counter this low
To calm this mind
To relax this body
To relieve all that pains me

A Panic Attack Gets Worse

Sharp pain
Shoots through
My head
Front to back

Throat’s closed
Gasps pass
Choked on
Irrational fear

Heart beats
Too fast
Chest hurts
It’s caving in

Stomach
Churning
Threatening
It’s coming up

Back pain
Creeps up
From hips
To the neck

Knees weak
Legs freeze
Feet stop
The room spins

Get out
Run now
Go, soon
Fight every obstacle

Exploding Eyes

Tears explode from my eyes
Whenever I lose the ability
To keep them dammed up

I do not know what I cry about
I just cry
When I can’t not

It’s a symptom of a disorder
I keep track, it’s on my chart
In an office, in a drawer

Professional unhelpfuls
Cannot even convince me
They look it over before seeing me

It’s there, though
With all of its labels
Lacking any explanation

Diagnoses aside
Exploding eyes are serious business
When you know not why

So many reasons there is just
No way to narrow down the negative
And find the positive peace

If I Knew, I’d have Never

If I knew what tonight would bring
I’d have never been concerned about
Falling asleep mid-project
So what was the use in the worry?

If I knew I’d wait for hours
Before getting what I had come for
I’d have never rushed
What was the hurry?

If I knew you’d throw me away
I’d have never been concerned to help
Or talk all night
What’s the use in my eyes being blurry?

If I knew you’d come at me like that
With rage growing hostility
I’d have never come to see you
Why the fury?

If I knew the law hosted epic flaw
I’d have never been cooperative
Remaining silent
Face the jury

Wine and Weed Need

Wishing I had wine and weed
Wounded and wailing
With whatever thereafter
Weird and unwise

Hoping Hell won’t have me here
While Heaven heels
In height or harness
I heave without hope

Worked up wanting
The wherewithal to wonder
With want
Without will

Hereby hastening
Hellfire while harming
Whole barely-hemmed
Happy times by wrecking havoc

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