12: Beyond Now There’s Then

Right now
it’s low days
quiet that quakes deep
the wanting felt all over
a body hurt a body whole
the intricacy of circuits,
pathways carved out
where all this stays.

Right now
the minutes stretch
though the day has gone quick—
it slows up
marking a box on a grid
until they are all blue exes.

Right now is here
this unsettled feathered
notion sitting at the bottom
an unstable foundation
about to crumble
crash down.

And then

there has to be
something
beyond right here right now.

Otherwise there’s no point in
sunrise, summer storms, or
stars; no reason for pink sand,
high wires, or  windmills;
no value in all the years
all the subtle glances all
the all in all overwhelming
wonder this expanding universe
has to offer in a tiny locket
hanging from a thin silver string.

I close the clasp at the nape of my neck
clutch the charm to my chest
brushing aside any semblance of hope—
an unwarranted expectation for
unpredictable desire— and instead
fall into the complete confidence of faith,
knowing this now is different from the last
and will keep renewing
into a life worth living over and over again.

 

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