THE IMMACULATE KITCHEN: COVID-CLEAN THOSE GROCERIES
- Gather your tools. Know what you’re doing. Step up. Shake a leg.
- In the immaculate kitchen one should not be deterred.
- You are the god. Purify! 99% effective everywhere – bleach infused. Wipe, wipe. Pretend you’ve forgotten that 1%. Pretend you’ve invincible.
- Purify is your mantra. Say it again. A hundred times.
- In the immaculate kitchen one must be adamant. Quarantine non-perishables like your very own self. Any old remote closet or garage will do.
- Forget what you risked in the grocery’s narrow aisles for that oatmeal, crackers, flour, pasta, cookies, dried mango, coffee filters. Stow them. Out of sight, out of mind. Shut your heart to them for three days.
- Don’t cheat! In the immaculate kitchen one should not lie. That bleach on the spouts of milk cartons? Shut your eyes. Count to 100. Say it again, purify, purify.
- Don’t inhale. Avoid the eyes. Wash your hands until they are raw.
- Those gloves you thought would save you? Sweaty, musty, water-logged.
- You are the god. Turn on the fan. Shut/open your eyes. In the immaculate kitchen one should not be deterred.