My name isn’t Sam.
I won’t pester you to eat
Foods that have somehow managed to survive years beyond their shelf life.
I won’t ask you to do silly things like give mice cookies or milk in glasses.
Instead, I’ll invite you to come spend days in the sun
A day with me and you’ll understand the pleasantness of sharing farmer’s tans.
I won’t beg you to go on trips all over,
Instead, I’ll invite you to shovel stalls filled with poo
And I’ll show you the time you ever had-
With a horse under your ass.
Yep, hang with me and you will see-
This is life as it’s meant to be-
And it’s better than any kid’s story could possibly be!