I have no eloquence left. All of the poetry in me has drained out. I am simply screamingrage, bleeding, unanswerable questions…

How could this have happened?!

How did you not play this out in your head for lifetimes before allowing this to happen?!

How could you not be more mindful?!

How could they be gone?!

How could you let this happen?!

How could you not know it was down?!

How did you not know it was loaded?!!!

How can they be gone…?

How can I ever hear your voice again without the crack in my head splitting wider… without this new crazy swallowing me?

How do I begin to forgive you?

How do I begin to want to…?