2019 #7-What I can’t say out loud

We were stuck, all of us

In a repeating loop of the unsaid

And I can’t wrap my mind around it

Now, even after you’re gone

We should be free-

But tapes run their course then start all over again

If no one thinks to press stop

I don’t blame you-

Even if you are to blame

For at least the most recent long-term symptom

We were all cowards; we all fell in line

With your insanity-because that’s what it was

Can you make a joke out of that?

Is it funnier if your new audience really is dead?

Truth was never our strong suit

Not in this family, so you married well

And we all played along with the collective silence

About whatever ailed you

Is it a mystery?

Or do we really not want to know?

We laughed at your jokes

Hugged you when your body felt breakable,

Saw your hands when they shook,

But weren’t allowed to ask about it

Nor say a damn word.

You took your life and all it did was deepen the hole

We were already in.

(not prompted by the song)

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