It took me a long time to be comfortable where I am
Without you I’m lost
with you I’m not
I’d rather be
together
forever.
24 Poems ~ 24 Hours
It took me a long time to be comfortable where I am
Without you I’m lost
with you I’m not
I’d rather be
together
forever.
This is a beautiful poem Joyce! It is short but I think there is great beauty in its brevity. It also seems to have a shape to it and set pattern so, I won’t talk about adding different syntax or moving words. However. The word Forever calls for capitalization…what do you think? I also might add a few hyphens as this poem seems speedy? Just my two cents! I love this poem! Great work!
Thank you
Joyce, this punches so hard. It’s beautiful, poignant and deeply moving. I love the way you’ve shaped the poem, running without punctuation as the words grow shorter and shorter. I love it just the way it is here – no changes, no editing. It’s just beautiful.
To be honest, I really don’t want to over-analyse it, because this is so heavy with grief. It reminds me of how I felt when I lost my mum – and I’m so sorry for your loss xx