in situ adverb or adjective
in si·tu | \ (ˌ)in-ˈsī-(ˌ)tü , -ˈsi-, -(ˌ)tyü also -ˈsē-, -(ˌ)chü\
Definition of in situ
: in the natural or original position or place
For an impatient person, which I admit to being, it seems I have accomplished a lot of waiting in my life. Much of this waiting came under the umbrella of procrastination, which is the lane from which there is little, if any, passing. Why move when it’s easy to ride along with one’s fear of failure in the backseat?
To take over the wheel, to move lanes, to be in place takes effort. Time and commitment aren’t cheap, and the landlord doesn’t care that you took a demotion so you could focus on getting published. But, I realize, if not now, when? I have let myself lapse, to be reminded by things, such as this marathon, of why I write. I write so that I can filter what passes through my mind on a daily basis. I write so that I can make sense of what seems haphazard. Maybe I search too hard for the right words. Inchoate is a byproduct of being so hemmed in by circumstance that to voice the truth becomes a liability to one’s livelihood. Or, worse, a danger to one’s sanity.
For the next 24 hours, then, I don’t have to play inside the lines of a structure designed to turn me into a shell to be moved at someone else’s will. I am “in place, ready to perform my original desire, to write.