@agracey
active 6 months, 3 weeks ago-
Lani G commented on the post, I don’t know how to write love poems (anymore) (1/2 Marathon, Hour Eight) 6 months, 1 week ago
Thank you. It’s hard to remove ourselves from the current events no matter what we’re writing about.
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Lani G commented on the post, Warrior (1/2 Marathon, Hour Twelve) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Thank you!
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Lani G commented on the post, Whose tears? 6 months, 3 weeks ago
My Wi-Fi went out and I was scrambling to get it together so I forgot to add (1/2 Marathon, Hour Eleven)!
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Lani G wrote a new post, Warrior (1/2 Marathon, Hour Twelve) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Warrior
She is everything.
They seek her blood to drink and mix with their own,
Not knowing that her blood will poison their hearts, livers, lungs.
Not knowing that revolution eats through stomach […] -
Lani G wrote a new post, Whose tears? 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Whose tears?
I think the ghost has been crying.
My house is full of sadness.
Like walking along the bottom of an anguished ocean.
Grief making the water cold. Dead but undulating pain.
Sonic waves […]-
My Wi-Fi went out and I was scrambling to get it together so I forgot to add (1/2 Marathon, Hour Eleven)!
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Lani G wrote a new post, I will not love the dead (1/2 Marathon, Hour Ten) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
I will not love the dead
I can almost feel
The anticipation of every loc
Between my thighs
Framing both sides of my face from above
Rippling over my arm in sleep
Running through my fingersI have not […]
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Lani G wrote a new post, Lava is (1/2 Marathon, Hour Nine) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Lava is
Boiling in my spirit under my skin
I am hot to the touch
Fissures burst from me sporadically
Steam rising off of me at all timesI do not know when I will erupt
One more wrong word
One last […]-
There is vivid imagery in this poem. One doesn’t know what will set off the next explosion. I kind of like the end at “magma.” the emphasis has been the lava flow and volcanic activity. I don’t want to consider the last two lines at all. For this reader, they diminish the poem. I don’t want to think about new growth. I’m still reveling in the explosion.
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Lani G wrote a new post, I don’t know how to write love poems (anymore) (1/2 Marathon, Hour Eight) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
I don’t know how to write love poems (anymore)
I wanted new love to become my muse
The way she became part of my healingBalm
Warm
Safer than I knew beforeBut my last muse took something q […]
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Great line that also harkens to the world of our pandemic: ‘reaching down my throat
Intubating me to breathe poetry again’-
Thank you. It’s hard to remove ourselves from the current events no matter what we’re writing about.
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Agreed!
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Lani G commented on the post, Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Seven) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Thank you so much. I will consider this when I’m revising. Happy writing!
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Lani G commented on the post, Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Seven) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Thank you so much. I will consider this when I’m revising. Happy writing!
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Lani G commented on the post, Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Seven) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Thank you
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Lani G commented on the post, Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Seven) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Thank you.
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Lani G commented on the post, Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Seven) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Thank you for you feedback. It’s hard to write and revise within an hour–especially to get to a final revision. Which lines do you think could be removed?
I’m thinking:
‘Ghosts are scary.’
‘It feels superior for straightening up but it doesn’t actually clean shit.’
‘Ghosts are sad.’
And maybe, ‘It let me have the chair.’ -
Lani G commented on the post, Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Seven) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Thank you!
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Lani G wrote a new post, Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Seven) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Let me explain why the ghost sleeps in my bed while I sleep in a chair.
It’s selfish.
I let it.
I don’t want to fight with a fucking ghost.
Ghosts are scary.
This one is only friendly when the mood str […]-
Hey Lani,
I love this poem — it’s got tons of great psychic energy. Duende! Great voice and use of the line.-
Thank you!
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Marvelous image of a ghost
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Thank you.
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Really like it! It’s out of this world! LOL!
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Thank you
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Kickarse title & a poem that almost lives up to it. Perhaps 3-4 Ines to long. But most of the lines are firecrackers. Really like it.
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Thank you for you feedback. It’s hard to write and revise within an hour–especially to get to a final revision. Which lines do you think could be removed?
I’m thinking:
‘Ghosts are scary.’
‘It feels superior for straightening up but it doesn’t actually clean shit.’
‘Ghosts are sad.’
And maybe, ‘It let me have the chair.’ -
Totally agree about editing. I really believe Marathon is not about getting a finished poem but getting a good draft to edit later. You’ve definitely got this. Edit in a day or week or two. I’m sure we’ll all choose different lines to trim, but my suggestion would be these:
It forgets that it loves me.
It hates that it loved me.
It let me have the chair.It feels like it slows up too much at the end, when it should be speeding up. The “loved me” lines aren’t as clever as others you’ve written & the “let me have the chair” is passive whereas “it took over my bed” is tough.
just my 2c. I’m sure you’ll work out which need to go when you’ve had a chance to sleep on it xg
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Thank you so much. I will consider this when I’m revising. Happy writing!
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Thank you so much. I will consider this when I’m revising. Happy writing!
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Lani G wrote a new post, I love her. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Six) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
I love her.
Her skin is brown.
It does not taste like chocolate
But like what a mix of sunlight and moonbeams would be if sprinkled with streetlights from our walk home.
More like umami. Too savory to be […] -
Lani G wrote a new post, Resurrection (1/2 Marathon, Hour Five) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Resurrection
Lazarus
Phoenix
Hope
LifeResurrection is
Miracle
Fantasy
Desperation
DisbeliefResurrection is
Revival
Rebirth
Resurgence
ReincarnationResurrection is not […]
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Lani G wrote a new post, Youniverse (1/2 Marathon, Hour Four) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Youniverse
Take your time.
Take all time because the Universe belongs to you.You wield it so.
It is yours because you willed it so.Space is jelly.
It can collapse on itself and form anew. Liquid does […] -
Lani G wrote a new post, Untitled – I attempted a bop per the prompt (1/2 Marathon, Hour Three) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Saying that the ghost is dead is
Unnecessary redundancy serves no purpose unless
There is a deeper death for a ghost in
A state more than hollow, a soundless crypt becomes
The scariest and coldest and darkest […] -
Lani G wrote a new post, Black love. (1/2 Marathon, Hour Two) 6 months, 3 weeks ago
Black love.
I will not understand your pain
Until you feel my rage in its entirety.I will not empathize with every death that leaves me just a little more dead
Like starting with numbness—fingers with n […] - Load More
I love your heroine. Great description!
Thank you!