I love the city trust in stanzas one and two; the first one, sharp and precise, delicate as a tiny mouse; then the second stanza uncoils slowly with menace just like the approaching snake. The third stanza falls as gently as the darkness it describes – darkness in so many ways – and the closing line ‘A gentle slide to oblivion’ aptly describes the…[Read more]

What a beautifully lyrical piece of writing! With biblical echoes – as it was before, so it shall ever be – creates such a powerful and positive mantra…and then to undercut the phrase we have come to know and change it at the end – it makes such an impact.

Oh my goodness! Such detail drawing us into your experience – and the power of the last line is just wonderful!

A beautiful – and powerful – reworking of this passage; really atmospheric! This makes me want to hear more!

Ramona, you are so welcome! And my heart is full, too, after reading your response and your experience! How we would wish to shelter and protect these younger versions of ourselves. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and to respond to my work!

Beautifully atmospheric – a real sense of being sheltered from the vagaries of the world and kept safe by love in this beautiful setting. Love this!

A gentle and supportive letter to a younger woman – tracing delicately the life that lies before her. Both poignant and uplifting; thank you!

A beautiful description of being something other than oneself – and a much healthier way of enjoying the sun!

I’m now making my way through your poems and enjoying them greatly – if ‘enjoy’ is the right word?! You create a moment, layer your experience over it, and draw us in. Gorgeous!

A perfect finish! Absolutely perfect – well done!

From your first nervous step into the bathroom, you drew me in! This whole experience is beautifully described and I followed you step by step throughout your day. A gorgeously perceptive and delicate rendering of this new experience – with just enough sensory detail to draw the reader in without overwhelming them. Absolutely beautiful!

Oh yes! Energy, humour, self-awareness and wise advice throughout this poem – hurtling towards the punch of those final two lines! I can’t be the only reader who was giving you an imaginary high five as I read this poem!

‘Clever’ is not the right word to describe this poem – that would be reductive in the extreme. You take the tiny sun marks we wear on our skin – and many find deeply attractive as they’re a sign of positive health – and invert them to become scars of loss and pain. A powerful and poignant read.

A strong and moving point well made throughout this poem; the world was, indeed, much better off before us, wasn’t it? The strength of this message lies in the control of the imagery – gradually building up – until the tiny phrases (and query) at the end which really pack a punch.

A truly powerful poem – and I love your connection to the bible verses too. You give such a clear description of what the land offers us – and of what we lose without that profound connection.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting; I live close to nature and it’s a joy to document the seasons (environmental and human) here!

That phrase ‘hand-dipped in sin’ is absolutely glorious! This poem seems like the preface – or a conclusion – to a larger tale; really intriguing!

Oh…this makes so much sense! The flowing lines perfectly express and explain the writer as conduit – trusting the pen to mark and write. Lovely!

How true! There’s a lovely control of pace in this poem – I was especially struck my the shortened lines in stanza three which create the sense of need, of maintaining that connection – which contrasts with the following stanza (more quietly reflective and sad) discussing (from experience) how fragile these cross-globe connections can be. Loved it!

Such a journey! The reported narrative – the judgement of you as a younger teacher – made me cringe with anger. The narrative here flowed from the start and pulled us into your story. And you’re right; it’s the students who matter. This left me in tears – I walked the same journey as you. Thank you for this.