@jlnash
active 8 months ago-
jlnash commented on the post, Longing 8 months ago
Thanks for this, I was also wondering about that line. Thank you for your suggestion. Helps me to edit it.
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jlnash commented on the post, Announcing the Finishers of The 24 Hour Poetry Marathon! 8 months, 1 week ago
I had such fun completing them.
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jlnash wrote a new post, A Piece of Paper 8 months, 1 week ago
When we were poor
you gave me a piece of paper
when banks still issued them
and used what little savings you had
to give me the only thing I was lacking
For you had already given me everything else
That I […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, Finkle Spurrt 8 months, 1 week ago
Squizzle finkle pop sqirzle
Squish squad
Straining to shuffle into view
With one eye it peeks
From beneath a sheet of gold
So fine
It could have been spun
by intergalactic gold worms
With no fear it […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, XXII 8 months, 1 week ago
Brats don’t give a fuck
Construction was never in my world,
Too cold to miss the game
Noo excuses might see the lovely Suzie
Lucky Suz I call her
A dead cat stretches out perhaps it’s sleeping
Cut this […]
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reminds me of T.S. Eliot’s modern city images… keep writing!
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jlnash wrote a new post, Longing 8 months, 1 week ago
I’ve learned not to long for things
Not out loud anyway
In case it makes the pixies
Remember what a sense of humour is
And execute some swift response at my expense.
I’ll keep shtum, lips pressed toge […]
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I like how this poem turns the title and speaks not about what is longed for but about what is never spoken. Each line feeds into the idea that a voiced longing is like a birthday wish; it won’t come true if it’s spoken. Your lines also feed into the twist you’ve established. I particularly like the contrast in the image of humorous pixies, usually seen as cute and fun, executing and making mischief with the speaker’s desires..
The only thing I would change is to take away this line: “Oh about what?” because I don’t think you need to ask this question. The last line makes the point all by itself.
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Thanks for this, I was also wondering about that line. Thank you for your suggestion. Helps me to edit it.
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jlnash wrote a new post, Lumiere 8 months, 1 week ago
It came from the top
I thought we were about to
be plunged into darkness
for the whole evening
But it came from above
I saw the prism fan out
light the screen from the
projector box above and […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, Apolemia 8 months, 1 week ago
They begin in single file possibly as breeders with a clone already attached they leave their cars in schoolyards and then again in carparks until they arrive in supermarkets pushing carts with kids in them round […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, Tick Tock Holiday Clock 8 months, 1 week ago
Tick Tock clock dead
No-one checks what the kids watch
on TV when on their own
Ring Ring Phone Broken
Doesn’t take any time to stare out into space
so you can do it as much as you like
you will never be la […]
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I like this poem it has a Caribbean flair
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jlnash wrote a new post, Hang Up 8 months, 1 week ago
Don’t let her speak to you that way
In what I thought was profound and
sound advice to one so much younger than myself
But I confused her all the more
I don’t know what it means
She said to me, hesit […]
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I love this! The generation divide made clear by language leftovers from technologies they don’t know.
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jlnash wrote a new post, Suicide by Plane 8 months, 1 week ago
Said bye to the Mrs and the girlfriend too
It’s a long haul flight – got to get this right
I’m fighting to sit in Business
But it’s cattle class I’m at.
Got my sketchpad and pen
Ever since I was a little […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, Skin Food 8 months, 1 week ago
Where, thanks to the Sun
my skin is paper-thin,
I submerge myself in nature blessing.
Portia’s hand steadies mine as
calendula is applied sparingly.
International, ancient, remedy
devised long before my a […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, A Great Mane 8 months, 1 week ago
A potentially interminable state of being.
The one where any brush cannot prise apart
When the fingertips have to strip back to
claw their way though the tresses
Arms rowing through tempests over
reed beds , […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, As Beautiful As Burning Fire 8 months, 1 week ago
The autumnal colours spattered through the copse
Leaves releasing musky essence of each vein’s blood
Overhead stayed upon the branches no wind to pare them
Were locked in Elven arrangements
As might reindeer b […]
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You reveal by showing, not telling. It’s like a painting. Lovely.
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jlnash wrote a new post, Stay Away From The USA 8 months, 1 week ago
I want to stay away from the USA
I know not all of it is fundamental religiosity
But I have no burning curiosity to see
A land happy in origin of its rejection of me
Its symbols are crashing and being […]
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“It operates blatantly” like a swaggering child with cap gun in hand. Indeed. Nicely done.
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jlnash wrote a new post, Letting The Cat Out 8 months, 1 week ago
I once had upon the mantelpiece
A sand picture housed between 2 glass panels
Prized as a child for its innovative charm
I owned a tape cassette and listened
to a song of moonbeams hidden
Adventure revealed in […]
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jlnash wrote a new post, The Comfort of Fireflies 8 months, 1 week ago
The comfort of fireflies
Housed in a brown-glass bottle
The fruits of labours spent over
A long day of laughter
Is soon forgotten,
Like the African mask keepsake
From a year’s past holiday,
In the face of a […]
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The title intrigued me very much and it interesting to see the connection to porridge (comfort food.) The first few lines were so vivid…it took me back to childhood. I love your poetic devices ..alliteration “.. a long day of laughter” and comparison to forgetting like forgetting the African mask. Beautiful!
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jlnash wrote a new post, The Right Sized Hole 8 months, 1 week ago
Right, ok, you know
Us and them
Sadly you waved away the space
It was a good idea, to be sad
Filled you up with black holes
And more black holes
Just right
Opening for you
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jlnash wrote a new post, Season of The Cane Toad: 2020 8 months, 1 week ago
I’m sanitising the sideboard where I lay my paper down
I’m bleaching the steps at the front and back doors
I’ve got bottles of disinfectant ready for murder, if I must
I’m keeping a squeaky clean house be […]
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This was a fun read. Sounds like a pandemic of toads to me. Australia? I know of these toads. I know of this COVID. Nice mixture of both if I’m reading this correctly.
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jlnash commented on the post, Psychopaths Are Unaffected By Punishment 8 months, 1 week ago
yeah i agree, i did think i needed a bit more time to play with it – thanks for comment
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Sweet and simple – it speaks to me.
I feel this poem as a remembrance of my own life.