I admire you for being so revealing! I feel like I know you, too! And you so beautifully portrayed the uncertainties of trusting in new love. Maybe it’s too personal for the anthology, but consider submitting this one! It really touches something in the reader (in me).
viviak commented on the post, 14 Golden Shovel based on Tracy Plath’s Metamorphosis 1 year, 6 months ago
Hi Paul, I think this one is very strong. Ambitious! That’s a long golden shovel! 🙂 Two small suggestions. At the end of the first verse, I don’t understand the part where you say, “…a lay,” Maybe there’s a tiny tweak to make there to clarify. Finally, the last line “only we have a soul”. To me there is a logic flaw between “only we are…[Read more]
Lovely poem. I have only two comments. First, I think you rely too heavily on having a picture carry your poem. This poem tells about a cloud mountain, but you don’t actually feel anything or see any images of a cloud mountain unless you look at the picture. That isn’t poetry. The poem should stand alone and convey the visuals. The image (if you…[Read more]
I think a year off is important, and I support you in that. I was the director of a small non-profit started by a lovely woman, and for health reasons she wanted to retire, so she turned it over to me. But then she didn’t actually. She kept wanting to stay involved, to micromanage and to just give orders. That wasn’t what I signed on to do. A wise…[Read more]
During the marathon I was thrilled to be participating. It was invigorating! Being a night owl, it wasn’t especially hard for me to stay up all night and write, but it was fatiguing, and it was a new experience to be watching the clock the entire 12 hours. I didn’t do much of what I consider good work, but I wrote things I would never dreamed I…[Read more]
Through the blinds I used to see a tall Norwegian maple
with leaves the color of tanned leather
bigger than my outspread hand.
It had a scar along the trunk, a long vertical burn
where lightning struck […]
Probably I could have done something differently.
Can’t we always find a way to blame ourselves?
It’s hard to reconcile when one person is finished
but one is still bound in place by the mem […]
Madame X, an oil portrait by American artist
John Singer Sargent, portrays the cool, patrician hauteur
of a wife of a wealthy man who herself
came up from nothing.
Her face reflects uncertainty
I’m not my mother’s daughter, I am my own machine.
I stand tall, I walk proud, and I know how to act mean.
I’m the funniest person you’ve ever met. Most interesting, too.
There’s absolutely […]
A collection of plastic and string and wings;
part stick insect, part sailboat,
walking kinetic sculptures from the realm of fantasy
moving up and down the beaches unsupervised
and avoiding the water […]
Physicists believe that the universe is shaped
like the inside of a soccer ball, with holograms
projecting all possible angles of view like Indra’s net;
that black holes extrude through the walls of s […]
In the movie the girl stands
On a bridge over infinite clouds.
Below, a vast chasm.
The stones are cold
Under her hands, but there is sun
On her face and she closes her eyes.
A memory slides into […]
I wanted to try a Golden Shovel poem from an earlier prompt tonight. I happened to do this one, also on loss.
From W.B. Yeats – When You Are Old
“But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you […]
Solana sat at the kitchen table, tapping her saucer with a spoon.
She could barely see it anymore, but she remembered
The yellow roses from years of use, and the cup in her hand
Was familiar and […]
Oh, for a jug and my Robin beside.
Astride his horse, together we’d ride
Along the dray road to the village of Quay
And we’d sing jolly-lolly-o-lay, o-lay,
We’d sing jolly […]
(according to myth, Ife is the place where the Yoruban people believe the gods first came down to earth and founded the world)
When Oludmare the supreme deity founded the world, all glory, all […]
It rained today.
Not the nice kind of rain.
Hot summer rain that steams
And bounces when it hits the pavement.
The frogs were in full voice
In the hackberry trees.
My sister captured a dozen last […]
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