Hour 4 Prompt

Letter

For my sister

 

we seemed easier in the days before chaos and cancer and changing into superheroes when all we needed to be was weak and open to each other so we could lean into each other while we leaned into the pain of watching her wither into silver-foil boxes of dust and fragments of something that looks nothing like her at all.

 

I wanted to be different while only being who I could be for her while being nothing of what you needed me to be for you while you were who you needed to be for you for her while she disappeared into the rising sun the day she left for the first and last time – your greatest fear…to live without her.

 

maybe that’s why you needed to push me away with both hands so hard as to throw me up against the Rockies -keeping us a safe distance from each other – until you feel strong enough to crumble against the Rockies you threw me up against.

 

I can’t make you feel safe enough to open your heart to the possibility that I’m not your enemy.

All I can do is wait.

So I guess I’ll do that.

 

I love you

r.

© r. l. elke