Eternity (Hour 3)

A decade ago, we were like lightning crackling across the darkest sky,
lighting it up with feral ecstasy.
We were raw electricity that hummed and buzzed wildly and blissfully through every dawn,
birthing jealousy within every sunrise.
We were that bright, fiery, meteorite plummeting through the atmosphere,
in a glorious trail of fire and ice.

Who says the stars that burn the brightest must die the fastest?
We burned so brightly, the flames of our passion lingering for years,
across continents and oceans, time and space.
An invisible cord binding us together, while I held eternity within my hands.
I could feel that rubber band like cord stretch within me and snap back
every time you left and came back.
I always knew, without knowing, when you were near.
The cord brought its own kind of sorrow, but I did not loathe it at the time.
I was too young and naive to truly understand
the visceral depths of soul ties and the perils of my own empath nature.

I remember the beginning of our fall all too well.
A bitter cold winter night, when the truth of your heart was finally revealed
in messages not meant for me.
I tried to let you go, but couldn’t.
The electricity between us always pulling me back,
craving your arms, your kiss, your breath, your smile.
So foolish, so hopeful, eternity around my neck bidding me to fight.
A hope that could never be.

Two years and my fight was gone. Back to one. Left alone.
I wanted to prove reality wrong,
clinging to the delusion that we were meant to be,
when there’s no such thing as “the one”.
But you couldn’t ever just let me be free, as I grieved you.
Flying in and out of the sunset,
six more years of you coming in and out of my life, for just days at a time.

Friendship was supposed to reign,
I could accept that I lost you… to her, to the world,
that you were never mine.
But we were lightning, we were electricity, and you never turned it off,
the spark igniting every time we were in the same room,
confusing an already broken heart.
Perhaps you loved my tears after all.

And then the finality of that fall, the impact of flesh and bone
as my left jab blackened your eye, severing the spark forever.
You never had a negative or nasty thing to say, until that day.
You were punishing me for having loved you instead of staying away.
It took years, but I forgave you for that cruelty.
Forgave – not forgot.

I healed, I learned, I grew, and I moved forward.
I wiped my mind, my soul, my heart of you.
The eternity of now solely mine, you just a faded memory.
But I don’t wish you ill. I wish you love. And kindness.
I wish you a happy eternity of your own.

 

— Saskia Lynge / Hour 3

 

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