Hour Twenty-Three: Anticipating Betrayal

With my sister, I anticipated betrayal.

She never was what she said

 

When we were young, she was god.

I adored her,

worshiped her,

feared her,

and yearned to be in her image

 

Every time I thought she would

be my savior

she left me bereft of hope

with broken covenant

and unfulfilled promises

 

I adored my sister for her strong persona

but never was able to fit myself in her image.

She burned hot and spontaneously

I simmered slowly,

duly deliberately.

She was quick to see an advantage

and take it.

I was the advantage she took.

 

Because she was god, her cruelest acts were proof

of her awesome power

her fearsome wrath

her benevolent generosity.

 

Even in my pain

which she caused

I thanked her for taking time for me.

Mostly, she forgot I existed.

 

Sometimes in the twilight gods fade into oblivion

But they do not die

Even her death betrayed me

For she left me incomplete

 

I think now that I betrayed her

With my adulation

 

If only I could bring her back

To replace my obsequious adoration

With love

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