Mind’s a Flame…

Mind’s a candle flame

Desireless, it is tame,

With gusts of passion,

Its vitality turns ashen before the light dims,

There’s much it brings wisdom, and knowledge gives the mind high wattage.

A candle can light many, if the flame is steady as the mind’s light spreads,

It gives knowledge legs,sheltering the mind’s flame and sharing becomes the aim.

The mind continues to remain bright, After the sun retires for the night.

One thought on “Mind’s a Flame…

  1. I like the imagery and symbolism of your poem.

    Did you mean to leave the space between “a” and “Flame” in the title? When I first read it, I didn’t see the flame and thought it created an interesting possibility.

    Is there a reason for this line: “There‚Äôs much it brings wisdom, and knowledge gives the mind high wattage.” to be passive? Consider dropping “There’s much” to give your poem more action, more a sense of an emotional moment. Also consider dropping “There’s much it” and chasing “brings” to the present progressive (-ing ending) and doing the same with “gives” to add a sense of immediacy, action happening as we read.

    And did you mean to leave out the line break in this and subsequent lines order to put the rhyming words on the same line and represent the spreading of the candlelight? Maybe the line breaks would be more effective, especially in that last long line.

    A line break after the word “ashen” in this line: “Its vitality turns ashen before the light dims,” would not only highlight the rhyme but also create a single un-rhymed line as a kind of transitional “wake up” or “pay attention here” before the last part of the poem.

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