Inside out

Showing you all I don’t want anyone to see

I am going to tell you about me

I am sensitive and sad

I cry I get mad

 

I smile to take you out

Because I am dying from inside out

I have a disease a discomfort everyday

I am saying things I never thought I would say

 

I tried to kill myself to ease up the pain

It did not work only added more shame

It took months to see why I never died

To see why all those nights I have cried

 

I needed love and acceptance I thought I need it from you

As time goes on I realised it you that put me through

Doubt shame hate and pushed them on me you won

I realised trying to love you just was no fun.

 

I walked away and the strangest things started to open up

I all of a sudden seen this half full amazing cup

I don’t need you to love me I need to love me

I don’t need you at all I just could not see.

 

I let you go I started to live again even if only until bipolar knocks me down

And kicks me around

But I now know I am loved and still don’t need you

I am thankful for all that you have put me through .