I recently when on a road trip
don’t they always sound better on paper?
I didn’t realize that I can get
until I was strapped in and 150
miles away from home.
We drove through towns that I will
never live in,
past people who live in a completely
different reality than I do
even though we are only
2 hours apart.
Seeing how big the world is makes me
feel so stuck
and comfortable in my hometown
I don’t have to worry about getting lost.
physically lost at least.
Stopping for gas
like finally and desperately reaching
Legs are wobbly,
pacing in between unfamiliar but familiar
Smile to the cashier you will never see again,
recognize that to them, you are just
a blip in their workday
they don’t get paid enough to care about the
cracks forming in your sense of time and space
Snacks that will remain uneaten roll
and crunch under my feet,
how long has that ache in my back been there?
God, I am getting old.
We are 3 hours away.
Up the stairs, down the hall,
through the door.
To the bathroom.
Back down the hall,
into the room,
that unfamiliar room.
A large window,
the sound of the city underneath.
straining to familiarize quickly,
learn the streets and the trees,
before my brain realizes that I can’t do this.
Down the street a tire shop,
where I would rephrase “affordable.”
Mexican polka music.
The ceiling in our bathroom is leaking.
And I ….
and I ….