content warning: usage of the f-slur (f*g) as a device; discussion of being lgbtq+ and discrimination; sexual harrassment and threats<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
i am not the right kind of queer.<\/p>\n
my existence is a debate and discourse,<\/p>\n
and folks like to say<\/p>\n
i’m not real –<\/p>\n
– ly queer –<\/p>\n
i’m lying<\/p>\n
i don’t face discrimination.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
(my first rape threat came<\/p>\n
when i was twelve,<\/p>\n
as a joke,<\/p>\n
poorly made.<\/p>\n
they stopped being jokes<\/p>\n
at nineteen<\/p>\n
when i first said “i’m ace”)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
i read words that said,<\/p>\n
“pete buttigieg is just a fag”.<\/p>\n
beige. milquetoast.<\/p>\n
white picket fence and<\/p>\n
respectable.<\/p>\n
there is no stopping<\/p>\n
the people who hate queerness.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
i am not the right kind of queer.<\/p>\n
i am two steps left.<\/p>\n
demand i fit in boxes, say<\/p>\n
i’m bad for overflowing.<\/p>\n
i can’t tell you my gender<\/p>\n
(“it feels like” different when i touch it),<\/p>\n
but i can tell you i never fit in,<\/p>\n
can tell you ‘girl’ settled oddly<\/p>\n
and ‘woman’ fit like too-small clothes and a scratchy blanket,<\/p>\n
and when i was sixteen i fell in love with a girl<\/p>\n
and cried when she wasn’t my first kiss<\/p>\n
(i didn’t know).<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
kick me out if you want,<\/p>\n
i’m used to it.<\/p>\n
i have to build rocks and cages,<\/p>\n
have to hunker down with the ones like me,<\/p>\n
have to be willing to take a bullet<\/p>\n
whenever i try to insist<\/p>\n
“i’m here”.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
i’m in-between and outside,<\/p>\n
not the right kind of queer,<\/p>\n
but no such thing as being the right kind,<\/p>\n
anyway.<\/p>\n
just being people,<\/p>\n
writing labels,<\/p>\n
finding ourselves.<\/p>\n
and trust me when i say,<\/p>\n
you’re not the right kind either.<\/p>\n
not to them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
content warning: usage of the f-slur (f*g) as a device; discussion of being lgbtq+ and discrimination; sexual harrassment and threats i am not the right kind of queer. my existence is a debate and discourse, and folks like to say i’m not real –…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4005,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-106522","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106522","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4005"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=106522"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106522\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":106573,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106522\/revisions\/106573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=106522"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=106522"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=106522"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}