There are moments<\/p>\n
where I can’t function<\/p>\n
I don’t want to be here<\/p>\n
I’m not suicidal-<\/p>\n
I just don’t want to<\/p>\n
be here anymore<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I think I could be depressed<\/p>\n
What do I know though?<\/p>\n
Not a doctor<\/p>\n
Lonliness knows my name<\/p>\n
knows how much I hurt<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Not happy-<\/p>\n
I just play pretend<\/p>\n
What would people think<\/p>\n
I they knew- REALLY knew<\/p>\n
I just play pretend at being happy<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Would they care?<\/p>\n
Listen?<\/p>\n
Change-<\/p>\n
Probably not.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It’s just a phase-<\/p>\n
You’ll be fine<\/p>\n
You’re ok<\/p>\n
Have you just THOUGHT<\/p>\n
about being happy?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You think I can just snap<\/p>\n
my fingers and be fine?<\/p>\n
BELIEVE ME, I’VE TRIED<\/p>\n
no dice<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Maybe drinking would<\/p>\n
help me- But I don’t drink<\/p>\n
Hurting myself physically<\/p>\n
I’m an old hat at doing<\/p>\n
But I said I wasn’t going there<\/p>\n
anymore<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It just hurts so badly sometimes<\/p>\n
I want someone- anyone to notice<\/p>\n
that I’m not ok-<\/p>\n
But they don’t notice<\/p>\n
I’m on my own<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Hello? Help me!<\/p>\n
I need some help down here<\/p>\n
I am on edge and It’s going into<\/p>\n
a panic attack.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I feel like I am dying<\/p>\n
short of breath<\/p>\n
achey<\/p>\n
crampy<\/p>\n
clammy<\/p>\n
Oh God help me please<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Stop<\/p>\n
Breathe<\/p>\n
Stop<\/p>\n
breathe<\/p>\n
No<\/p>\n
not like that<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Slow it down<\/p>\n
Slow down<\/p>\n
slow<\/p>\n
Like that.<\/p>\n
you’re doing ok<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There are moments where I can’t function I don’t want to be here I’m not suicidal- I just don’t want to be here anymore I think I could be depressed What do I know though? Not a doctor Lonliness knows my name knows how…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1290,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-107311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1290"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107311"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":107339,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107311\/revisions\/107339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}