{"id":114194,"date":"2022-06-25T18:18:06","date_gmt":"2022-06-25T22:18:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/?p=114194"},"modified":"2022-06-25T18:18:06","modified_gmt":"2022-06-25T22:18:06","slug":"zero-to-sixty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/2022\/06\/zero-to-sixty\/","title":{"rendered":"Zero to Sixty"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Crawling all over the trees all day<br \/>\nMaking nature documentarians frown<br \/>\nAnd amazingly, doing the whole thing<br \/>\nWhile hanging upside down<\/p>\n<p>This paragon of slow and steady<br \/>\nHas recently sped up<br \/>\nAnd now it&#8217;s felt the need for speed<br \/>\nI doubt it&#8217;ll ever stop<\/p>\n<p>Its devouring all the choicest fruits<br \/>\nIts swift grasping claws can find<br \/>\nAnd not just its limbs are fast,<br \/>\nIt can also move its mind<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s learnt to read, begun War and Peace<br \/>\nIt found Dickens a bit to dreary<br \/>\nIn Academia its halfway there<br \/>\nTo finding a way to solve string theory.<\/p>\n<p>Its now the fastest herbivore on land<br \/>\nAnd its mastery of climbing<br \/>\nMeans that its got the height advantage<br \/>\nAnd its got the monkeys whining<\/p>\n<p>Now its fast enough to get there first<br \/>\nAnd grab the choicest dinner<br \/>\nThere&#8217;s not enough left for the other chaps<br \/>\nThe chimpanzees are getting thinner<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re close to an ecological collapse<br \/>\nThe cascade is on the edge<br \/>\nWe have one chance to stop this now<br \/>\nSo everyone must make this pledge<\/p>\n<p>I know you thought it would be funny<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t want to be a pain<br \/>\nBut for the love of God you guys<br \/>\nStop giving Sloths Cocaine!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Crawling all over the trees all day Making nature documentarians frown And amazingly, doing the whole thing While hanging upside down This paragon of slow and steady Has recently sped up And now it&#8217;s felt the need for speed I doubt it&#8217;ll ever stop Its&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1484,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-114194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1484"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114194"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":114428,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114194\/revisions\/114428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}