Once upon a time there was a young woman named Cinderella<\/p>\n
Who cleaned and danced at a ball and married her prince<\/p>\n
who became a king and she a queen and all that.<\/p>\n
Okay, maybe I’m just an old woman named Cindy<\/p>\n
I already knew my prince and married him outright.<\/p>\n
I clean the house and tends to Prince Duke (the cat),<\/p>\n
who is as demanding as any royalty.<\/p>\n
Once upon a time there was Sleeping Beauty<\/p>\n
She ate a bite of a poisoned apple and slept for a hundred years.<\/p>\n
Oh, I wish. I could use the rest. Truly. Where can I get that apple?<\/p>\n
Anyone? Anyone?<\/p>\n
Then there\u00a0Rapunzel<\/p>\n
who lived in a high tower, a prisoner.<\/p>\n
She let down her hair so her handsome prince would<\/p>\n
climb to her and rescue her.<\/p>\n
Wait a damn minute.<\/p>\n
Do you know how hard it would be<\/p>\n
to keep hair that long tended to?<\/p>\n
And when the prince climbed it, can we say ouch?<\/p>\n
Was she bald when he reached the top?<\/p>\n
Her hair pulled out in a big clump on the floor?<\/p>\n
No thank you.<\/p>\n
I prefer my hair short and unpulled.<\/p>\n
He can get himself a ladder or a hang glider if he really wants to play hero.<\/p>\n
Once upon a time there was Little Red Riding Hood.<\/p>\n
Seriously did anyone get her eyes checked?<\/p>\n
She couldn’t tell her grandmother from a wolf?<\/p>\n
Did she ever see a picture of Grandma? Every meet her before?<\/p>\n
Her mother is just going to send a stupid little girl into the woods alone?<\/p>\n
What kind of parents did she have?<\/p>\n
And good old Hansel and Gretel. I am truly on the witch’s side.<\/p>\n
See what happens if you try to eat my gingerbread house.<\/p>\n
Boundaries people. Boundaries.<\/p>\n
Snow White and those Seven Dwarfs,<\/p>\n
okay, well having seven guys worship me would be nice,<\/p>\n
even if they were short.<\/p>\n
But I am not cleaning up after them.<\/p>\n
Grumpy needs to chill. Dopey needs some education.<\/p>\n
Get Sneezy an allergy tablet already. Didn’t anyone hear of Flonase?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
No, my life is not a fairy tale, far from it.<\/p>\n
I do have the handsome prince<\/p>\n
and the royal cat son.<\/p>\n
I live in an apartment above the garage<\/p>\n
that no self-respecting woodland creature<\/p>\n
would ever want to clean.<\/p>\n
Fairy tales are suited for others perhaps<\/p>\n
Just not for me.<\/p>\n
Is that apple some sort of special melatonin?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Once upon a time there was a young woman named Cinderella Who cleaned and danced at a ball and married her prince who became a king and she a queen and all that. Okay, maybe I’m just an old woman named Cindy I already knew…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-117129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/31"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=117129"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":125117,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117129\/revisions\/125117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=117129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=117129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=117129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}