I couldn’t make it through the episode without dissolving in a fit of tears
\nlike exposure therapy like the fullest release like finally being seen
\nin my exquisite suffering
\nnot unique to me but rarely written into scenes
\nI’ve never seen it played back that way<\/p>\n
I observed hopefully, intently, as others watched it too
\nbut I’m confused – didn’t you see what I saw?<\/p>\n
are the parallels being lost
\nare we on the same channel
\nis this thing even on?<\/p>\n
how was the similarity not jarring
\nall too familiar warning signs
\nuntil they’re fighting to pull her close
\nalmost too late<\/p>\n
pleading that they are right here
\nthey don’t want letters
\nthey want to be let in<\/p>\n
but it’s not that fucking easy<\/p>\n
it’s
\njust
\nnot<\/p>\n
this creature is a curse that lingers peripheral
\nwhispers in your sleep
\nsteals you right out from underneath their noses<\/p>\n
and you fight it
\nwith everything you have
\nrunning for your life
\nscreaming and flailing
\nstumbling
\nbarely escaping
\nthis time<\/p>\n
this time<\/p>\n
until you wake up in that haunted place again
\non unsuspecting days
\nthat creeping headache never fully releasing
\nit’s grip
\nit’s got it’s claws dug in
\nwake up running again
\nfighting again
\nbody on the verge of breaking
\nit wants to wear you down
\ncatch you when you’re alone
\nat your most defenseless<\/p>\n
how long can it be drowned out with music
\nwith memories of better days of connection of loved ones still living
\nbefore the grief and the fear and the guilt<\/p>\n
those bittersweet moments
\nseared into the front of your mind
\nlike your survival depends on them
\nprojected large and clear
\nimpossible to miss
\nimpossible to leave behind
\ndragging you back from the ledge<\/p>\n
the same ledge I’ve been on for half of my life
\ncarved my initials into it years ago
\nso that you’d know I was no stranger
\nI want you to see it
\nI want you to understand<\/p>\n
that this is a curse – sinister and dangerous
\ncontagious and invisible<\/p>\n
until you learn what to look for<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I couldn’t make it through the episode without dissolving in a fit of tears like exposure therapy like the fullest release like finally being seen in my exquisite suffering not unique to me but rarely written into scenes I’ve never seen it played back that…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":981,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-119356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/981"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=119356"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119356\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":120121,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119356\/revisions\/120121"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=119356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=119356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=119356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}