An hour and twenty minutes\u2026 sigh.\u00a0 I\u2019ve an hour and twenty minutes til what?\u00a0 What will it all mean \u2013 then.\u00a0 The sun might shine or it could be rain, snow, sheet ice.\u00a0 The heat might kick on all by itself.\u00a0 A light bulb may actually glow.\u00a0 I\u2019m listening to the ticks\u2026<\/p>\n
Tick\u2026tick\u2026tick \u2013 an hour and ten minutes now\u2026 Where does the time GO when you\u2019re having such \u2018fun\u2019\u2026 even pins drop as if encased in molasses pools \u2013 soooooooo slowly, barely turning end-over-end-over-end.\u00a0 It gives an entirely new meaning to a drip-brew coffee maker, and the mind!\u00a0 The mind races \u2013 RACES, in circles yet spirals too\u2026 in and in and round and around\u2026 but the thoughts \u2013 fragments and incoherencies, lost and found then lost and found again and again\u2026 threads so many, many threads \u2013 interweaving\u2026weaving\u2026fading into the next construct\u2026 tick\u2026 tick\u2026<\/p>\n
An hour.\u00a0 Just an hour, another lifetime passed and past and yet to come\u2026 a whole damn hour\u2026hour\u20266o more minutes\u2026 then 59\u2026 now 58\u2026eventually 57?\u00a0 57 more minutes\u2026
\neach a little eternity.\u00a0 Light a cigarette\u2026 the flame doesn\u2019t flicker; strange how flames don\u2019t really flicker after all\u2026 it\u2019s all in the eye\u2019s sight, what we THINK we see.\u00a0 Watching the smoke move, inhale and exhale\u2026 how does smoke dissipate \u2013 expanding and expanding into a universe, a growing ball \u2013 ever fading, fading, fading\u2026 do we expand and fade and fade as well?\u2026<\/p>\n
Is it 50 yet?\u00a0 50, 50, 50\u2026 come on 50\u2026will someone give me 50, 50, 50 50\u2026SOLD! \u2013 to the young-ole man sitting there in the back row\u2026 yay me\u2026 50 minutes\u2026 and counting, counting\u2026 down and up, and down, and up\u2026<\/p>\n
Electricity doesn\u2019t hum you know\u2026 it\u2019s the wires vibrating to the electrons racing within.\u00a0 Some would say it\u2019s the \u2018holes\u2019 that flow and electrons just keep falling and falling within\u2026 like watching the hubcaps on a moving car \u2013 seemingly turning in the opposite direction of the tires motion\u2026 like living on the edge of our own universe\u2026 like living at all\u2026 life at all\u2026 flowing, racing, following all the holes, falling within and falling over-and-over and all to get \u2013 where?\u00a0 What was the actual direction of motion?\u00a0 Where did we go?\u00a0 Did we go at all?\u00a0 Threads and threads and threads \u2013 weaving, coalescing, expanding, fading\u2026fading\u2026<\/p>\n
Its so not easy to lose oneself and yet we try\u2026 and find\u2026 ourselves looking back from all the mirrors that never were\u2026 cascading from all the non-surfaces back and forth and back and forth til we realize the fractals we are\u2026 such a pretty design that captures imagination and goes on and on and on til\u2026 35\u2026 35 minutes\u2026 35\u2026 then 34.<\/p>\n
Strange how coffee too hot to drink is so damned cold the next instant of awareness\u2026 time isn\u2019t linear to awareness ya know?\u00a0 It has no set place to be or follow.\u00a0 Awareness is NOW every moment you ARE aware, but not the one \u2013 the moments you weren\u2019t.\u00a0 I\u2019m aware of being me \u2013 except when I\u2019m not\u2026 threads and threads interweaving.\u00a0 I CAN feel my fingertips\u2026 each ONE\u2026 and all of them at once\u2026 but not my toes\u2026 I can\u2019t feel the smoke I exhale moving through my fingers\u2026 I can see it passing through but not feel it\u2026 but I AM aware of my fingertips and can still feel each one all at once\u2026 and I am aware of the smoke \u2013 moving\u2026 expanding\u2026 I\u2019m thinking, am aware that I\u2019m thinking I\u2019m thinking\u2026but what is it, what am I, in between moments of aware? Of unfeeling?<\/p>\n
Tick\u2026tick\u2026 22 minutes\u2026 22\u2026 Roses are red, Violets are blue, eternities last just moments \u2013 who knew?\u00a0 22\u2026 21\u2026White noise, echoes without awareness\u2026 what really counts? And why?\u00a0 And to whom?\u00a0 So many \u2018whys\u2019 we have\u2026 whys for everything and anything \u2013 some our own and some are other\u2019s.\u00a0 Wise whys, shy whys, lost whys, because whys\u2026 \u2018it-doesn\u2019t-matter\u2019 whys that \u2018mattered-after-all\u2019 whys\u2026 and cold coffee\u2026 18\u202617\u2026<\/p>\n
I wonder
\nat the emptiness
\nwith each breath<\/p>\n
because -\r\nits what we do\r\nits who we are\r\nit all there is\r\nits all I have -\r\njust each breath\r\nto wonder with.\r\n\r\nChris\r\n\r\n(C) Chris Twyford\r\n\r\n\r\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"An hour and twenty minutes\u2026 sigh.\u00a0 I\u2019ve an hour and twenty minutes til what?\u00a0 What will it all mean \u2013 then.\u00a0 The sun might shine or it could be rain, snow, sheet ice.\u00a0 The heat might kick on all by itself.\u00a0 A light bulb may…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5226,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[5735,1956,10,1084],"class_list":["post-125774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings","tag-chris","tag-musing","tag-poetry","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5226"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=125774"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":126437,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125774\/revisions\/126437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=125774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=125774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=125774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}