Sometimes I smile
\nbecause the monster
\nin my head is quiet
\nno one the wiser<\/p>\n
But then there are times
\nwhere it runs loose and
\nI smile because the
\nreal me shines through<\/p>\n
See?
\nSee the real me yet?
\nI\u2019m not normal and
\nI don\u2019t need your pity
\nyour forgiveness
\nor apologies<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t need your
\naccusations
\nI don\u2019t need to explain
\nmyself to you
\nDon\u2019t need your permission<\/p>\n
There are times where
\nthat monster escapes
\nand I am mortified because
\nthe real me shows up
\nand I can no longer hide<\/p>\n
Then I get over myself and
\nthink-
\nFuck it-
\naccept me or don\u2019t <\/p>\n
I am so sick of you
\nthinking I have to be perfect
\nwe both know-
\nthat\u2019s not going to happen<\/p>\n
Damnit!
\nThe monster is trying
\nto get out again
\nNO!
\nStay inside!
\nThese people can\u2019t handle you<\/p>\n
My mind is such a mess
\ninsane cesspool
\nall the boxes tipped and spilled<\/p>\n
I\u2019m so ashamed of
\nthe monster
\nHe\u2019s dragged me down
\ntwisted me violently
\nevery which way<\/p>\n
The monster wants
\nto be heard
\nnot silent
\nlonely lonely
\nwants a friend
\nor two<\/p>\n
The walls I\u2019ve built
\nso high are crumbling
\ndown because the
\nmonster wants to be
\nheard<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t let you out
\nYou\u2019ll only hurt the ones
\nI love
\nI don\u2019t care if you hurt me-<\/p>\n
I hate what you have
\nmade me into-
\nI am at war with you<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t afford even a
\nmoment of relief-
\nbecause it will be
\nthe death of me<\/p>\n
Sometimes I smile
\nbecause the monster is quiet
\nand asleep
\nand I appear normal and happy-<\/p>\n
And no one is the wiser.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sometimes I smile because the monster in my head is quiet no one the wiser But then there are times where it runs loose and I smile because the real me shines through See? See the real me yet? I\u2019m not normal and I don\u2019t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1290,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-127348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/127348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1290"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=127348"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/127348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":127352,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/127348\/revisions\/127352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=127348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=127348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=127348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}