There’s a certain liberation to realizing you are someones worst fear.<\/p>\n
Its doubly enjoyable when that someone is a loved one<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
embrace their nightmare<\/p>\n
embrace the boogeyman of your trans self<\/p>\n
that self they want to be a perfect porcelain doll<\/p>\n
instead you are perched upon the mantle with a knife hidden in your skirts<\/p>\n
That self is the patient strapped to a metal chair in the asylum<\/p>\n
faces blurred against the screen fighting the ice pick<\/p>\n
That self is a reflection that doesn’t quite meet what’s happening on this side of the glass<\/p>\n
that self is the shadow that comes from behind the curtain in the empty room in the empty house at the end of the empty block<\/p>\n
that self is the fingers creeping up against the edge of your bed frame reaching somehow underneath the impenetrable shield of sheets that you have built<\/p>\n
it is the monster under the bed but not yours, the monster under the bed of people who would rather see you live in your scarcity.<\/p>\n
Those who would rather see you consumed by those fears, who would rather see you die in the status quo<\/p>\n
Be the boogeyman for everybody whose own desires are repressed<\/p>\n
Be the boogeyman for every man who wanted to wear a skirt; for every girl who wanted to help put away in the chairs after church<\/p>\n
that healed self is a trickster god, bringing in chaos wreaking havoc<\/p>\n
When you realize the healed self is a monster in their eyes, at first it’s hard, but then I found, it’s kinda freeing. Because then I could be all the things that used to scare me<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There’s a certain liberation to realizing you are someones worst fear. Its doubly enjoyable when that someone is a loved one embrace their nightmare embrace the boogeyman of your trans self that self they want to be a perfect porcelain doll instead you are…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5396,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-128676","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128676","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5396"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=128676"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128676\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":128754,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128676\/revisions\/128754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=128676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=128676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=128676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}