One mistake
\nJust one, small mistake,
\nInconsequential in the grand scheme
\nOf life and the universe.
\nAnd yet it is enough
\nTo awaken The Spiral.
\nThe Spiral of thoughts
\nThat begin with “You messed up”
\nAnd ends with “You’re too flawed
\nTo be truly loved.”<\/p>\n
My logical brain knows
\nIt’s the result of faulty wiring,
\nNot to be trusted,
\nAnd not at all true.<\/p>\n
But The Spiral persists,
\nThe sound growing louder,
\nLouder, louder until it’s screaming
\nAnd I am paralyzed,
\nUnable to find the motivation,
\nTo find the purpose of even moving.<\/p>\n
In The Spiral every flaw is scrutinized,
\nViewed under my mind’s strongest microscope.
\nEvery moment of imperfection is weighed and measured.
\nEven moments of happiness and joy
\nAre not safe from The Spiral.<\/p>\n
The Spiral tells me that I am not enough,
\nThat I am too broken.
\nIt tells me no one would ever want to carry
\nThe burden of my brokenness.
\nThe Spiral tells me to keep
\nMy deepest hurts, my darkest thoughts to myself.
\nIt tells me that my friends who care
\nWill change their mind if they knew.
\nAnd if they don’t, eventually they will
\nRealize that the burden of my being
\nOutweighs any good I bring to their lives
\nAnd they’ll see it’s easier
\nTo just walk away.<\/p>\n
The Spiral is a demon and a liar.
\nThe Spiral does not have my best interest in mind.
\nThe only interest The Spiral has is my destruction.
\nIt is an enemy I have fought many times
\nAnd will likely fight many more times.
\nSometimes it lies dormant, quiet in its cage.
\nBut now and then, without warning,
\nIt breaks free and the battle commences once more.<\/p>\n
Some days The Spiral is overwhelming
\nAnd I wonder if it’s even worth the fight.
\nBut to quit isn’t in my blood
\nSo I rise up, each and every time,
\nAnd I face down the enemy of my mind.<\/p>\n
Because losing to The Spiral
\nIs not an option.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One mistake Just one, small mistake, Inconsequential in the grand scheme Of life and the universe. And yet it is enough To awaken The Spiral. The Spiral of thoughts That begin with “You messed up” And ends with “You’re too flawed To be truly loved.”…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1102,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-132436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1102"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=132436"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":133025,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132436\/revisions\/133025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=132436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=132436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=132436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}