{"id":137530,"date":"2023-09-02T21:27:06","date_gmt":"2023-09-03T01:27:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/?p=137530"},"modified":"2023-09-02T21:27:06","modified_gmt":"2023-09-03T01:27:06","slug":"hour-13-100mg-of-zoloft-every-day-for-eight-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/2023\/09\/hour-13-100mg-of-zoloft-every-day-for-eight-years\/","title":{"rendered":"Hour 13: 100mg of Zoloft Every Day for Eight Years"},"content":{"rendered":"

I do not scare easily<\/p>\n

The concept of horror has intrigued me since childhood<\/p>\n

And I have consumed it voraciously<\/p>\n

For as long as I can remember<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am not afraid of spiders<\/p>\n

Or snakes<\/p>\n

Or dark empty corridors<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Try as I might,<\/p>\n

I do not believe in ghosts<\/p>\n

Or monsters<\/p>\n

Or any manner of fantastical creature<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And yet<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know fear intimately<\/p>\n

It thrives inside me<\/p>\n

Whispering insidious remarks<\/p>\n

That curl themselves into the folds of my thoughts<\/p>\n

And make a permanent home<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I do not want to believe<\/p>\n

The lies my fear feeds me<\/p>\n

But my mind would rather play Devil\u2019s advocate<\/p>\n

And gives them the spotlight anyway<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I used to think it could be beaten into submission<\/p>\n

Drugged into oblivion<\/p>\n

Locked into a closet<\/p>\n

And never, ever<\/i> taken out<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And yet<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You can\u2019t remove pieces of yourself<\/p>\n

No matter how hard it is to live with them<\/p>\n

You learn to hold hands with your fear<\/p>\n

To tell it you understand<\/p>\n

And kiss it on the forehead<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is a difference between<\/p>\n

Accepting your anxieties<\/p>\n

And letting them have power over you<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The human experience is complicated<\/p>\n

And hard<\/p>\n

But I\u2019d rather be present<\/p>\n

Than not<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I do not scare easily The concept of horror has intrigued me since childhood And I have consumed it voraciously For as long as I can remember   I am not afraid of spiders Or snakes Or dark empty corridors   Try as I might,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5302,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5302"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=137530"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":137560,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137530\/revisions\/137560"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=137530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=137530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=137530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}