Hours spent sleepless at 3 am
\nUsually 3 am
\nSometimes 3:33 – a scary time
\nOne in which the ghosts come out!<\/p>\n
Demons infiltrate my every thought
\nWhipping me to shreds with their anguish
\nOver my imperfections<\/p>\n
What needs to be done
\nDid I do it right?
\nDid I say it wrong?<\/p>\n
What is he thinking of me?
\nIs he thinking of me?
\nAm I too fat?<\/p>\n
I forgot to buy breath mints.
\nSpeaking of which, I need to make an appointment
\nwith a dentist.
\nGet my teeth cleaned.<\/p>\n
When will I have time?
\nCan’t do it this week.
\nI need those 40 hours to pay the rent.<\/p>\n
Next week, maybe. Or the next.
\nI could skip grocery shopping
\nEat beans and rice this week.<\/p>\n
That always makes me fart.
\nI hate farting.
\nI wonder if when I farted
\nAt work the other day.<\/p>\n
Did he smell it?
\nGod, I hope not.
\nIs that why he hasn’t called?
\nProbably.<\/p>\n
I probably just stink
\nHe doesn’t like me.
\nOr he just wanted sex.
\nThat was it.<\/p>\n
God, I’m so stupid!
\nWhy do I get so turned on by these…
\nThese… These… MEN!<\/p>\n
Sometimes I wish I could be a lesbian.
\nWhat would that be like? hmmm….
\nNo, I don’t think so. Nope. Not for me.<\/p>\n
I like big strong arms and a big…
\nDamn him! Why hasn’t he called?<\/p>\n
I wonder if he’s with someone else tonight.
\nI’ll bet he’s with Susan.
\nShe’s always smiling at him.<\/p>\n
What does she have that I don’t have?
\nMoney? Connections?
\nBetter breath?<\/p>\n
Maybe I should call him.
\nWhat time is it?
\nI have to be up in two hours.<\/p>\n
I could call in sick.
\nNope. Can’t.
\nGotta pay the rent next week.<\/p>\n
What is it about counting sheep
\nThat makes people go to sleep?
\nI could count sheep. 1, 2, 3, 4.<\/p>\n
That commercial with the sheep
\nIs so cute! What product is that?
\nI’ve forgotten. What was it?<\/p>\n
I need to buy more\u00a0melatonin.
\nMaybe I should try valerian.
\nKim said valerian works best for her.<\/p>\n
I’m up to five melatonin a night.
\nWhat’s that, like 15 mg?
\nI wonder if you can overdose on melatonin.<\/p>\n
Sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream.
\nSometimes I wish I were a guy
\nJust so I could play Hamlet in Hamlet.<\/p>\n
I wonder if I’d be gay.
\nI wonder if I’m really a gay man in a woman’s body.
\nThat makes sense, really.<\/p>\n
I like men.
\nI like doing manly stuff.
\nI have a man’s job.<\/p>\n
But they don’t pay me like a man,
\nThat’s for sure.
\nI need a raise!<\/p>\n
I should ask for a raise
\nThis week.
\nMaybe if I brought in my dildo,
\nThey’d see that I have everything
\nAny man has.<\/p>\n
Make sure it’s clean. Ha!
\nI wonder if he’d get jealous of my dildo.
\nMaybe I should bring it… nah.<\/p>\n
Speaking of which,
\nI really need to do the dishes
\nTonight!<\/p>\n
Why don’t I have time for anything?
\nWhat time is it?
\nDamn!<\/p>\n
I have to be up in an hour.
\nI should just go on and get up.
\nUp, Up, Up.<\/p>\n
Nope.
\nLay back down with me.<\/p>\n
Wait, where’s that piece of paper
\nWith the Sanskrit thing on it
\nThat Dani gave me at yoga.<\/p>\n
Did I put it in my wallet?
\nI wonder if that works.
\nWhat was it? Om something.<\/p>\n
Maybe if I just say Om in my mind
\nMaybe I can finally go to sleep.
\nWorth a try, I guess…<\/p>\n
Om, om, om, om, what was it that
\nOm, om, om, I wonder what it means
\nOm, om, om, om, I , Om, can’t quit thinking
\nOm, Om, Om, Om, ommmmmmmmmmm<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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