You think you’ve stolen him from me, but you haven’t.<\/p>\n
You’ve only borrowed him<\/p>\n
Like someone borrows a library book to enjoy for a little while<\/p>\n
And then you have to return it.<\/p>\n
Think of me as the\u00a0librarian.<\/p>\n
He always comes back to me.<\/p>\n
Our home is where he belongs.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A man can’t possibly belong to you until<\/p>\n
You’ve laughed with him a million times<\/p>\n
You’ve held him while he cries<\/p>\n
You’ve been with him to watch dreams come true<\/p>\n
You’ve stood by him as\u00a0dreams were shattered<\/p>\n
You’ve given birth to his children and seen him enveloped in awe and love<\/p>\n
You’ve washed his dirty underwear<\/p>\n
You’ve held his hand at weddings and funerals and birthday parties<\/p>\n
You’ve prayed with him and for him<\/p>\n
You’ve forgiven him a thousand times<\/p>\n
You’ve asked for his forgiveness a thousand times<\/p>\n
You’ve shared meals with him and then washed the dishes while he dried<\/p>\n
You’ve waited,\u00a0terrified, beside his hospital bed<\/p>\n
You’ve cleaned up his vomit<\/p>\n
You’ve waited up late with him, waiting for a teenager to come home<\/p>\n
You’ve bought and wrapped Christmas presents for his side of the family<\/p>\n
You’ve awakened after surgery to see his face, lined with worry, smiling at you<\/p>\n
You’ve fought with him bitterly and made up with him lovingly<\/p>\n
You’ve let him down terribly and and discovered he still loves you<\/p>\n
You’ve shared with him all the things you’d never share with another<\/p>\n
You’ve\u00a0loved him unconditionally<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
That means “no matter what”<\/p>\n
But even then he really doesn’t belong to us<\/p>\n
He’ll always be his own man<\/p>\n
No one can own him<\/p>\n
We can only enjoy as much of him as he has chosen to share with us<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You think you’ve owned a part of him because you gave him your body<\/p>\n
Your body – younger, softer, thinner, tighter, prettier than mine<\/p>\n
You think that sex gives you power<\/p>\n
Sex is your currency and it buys you many things<\/p>\n
Money, attention, maybe even a moment of self-esteem<\/p>\n
But the very youth you offer is too young to know that<\/p>\n
Sex can’t compete with what I offer<\/p>\n
My currency is real love, family<\/p>\n
Your currency lasts a moment<\/p>\n
Mine lasts a lifetime.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It’s not that you mean nothing to him<\/p>\n
You’ve given him something I can’t<\/p>\n
A recaptured youth<\/p>\n
The\u00a0opportunity to be just a man to a woman,<\/p>\n
And not a father, provider, plumber, handyman, and errand boy, too<\/p>\n
The chance to look into a woman’s eyes knowing she doesn’t see the ugly sides of him<\/p>\n
Hot, passionate sex that is only sex<\/p>\n
Newness,\u00a0novelty, discovery<\/p>\n
A moment of freedom from all demands of life<\/p>\n
A flicker of\u00a0a sense of timelessness and, yes, even immortality.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And, in a very strange way, I love you for it<\/p>\n
Because I want him to have everything<\/p>\n
Everything he needs to feel whole and complete<\/p>\n
I want the times he’s with me and our children to be because he chooses<\/em> us,<\/p>\n Not because he’s been held hostage for sex.<\/p>\n I love him enough to forgive his weaknesses<\/p>\n And to accept his needs that I can’t fill.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n You see, you haven’t stolen anything<\/p>\n You haven’t won anything<\/p>\n Because this life isn’t a battle or a competition<\/p>\n It’s about experiencing and sharing<\/p>\n And getting to know ourselves and others<\/p>\n And giving more than we get<\/p>\n And loving – It’s mostly about loving<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I’m not angry at you<\/p>\n I’ve been<\/em> you<\/p>\n In my younger years when I didn’t understand what I really wanted<\/p>\n And I didn’t know what real love was.<\/p>\n I know<\/em> you.<\/p>\n And as much as I may try, at times, to forget you,<\/p>\n We’re connected, and we always will be<\/p>\n Because we both cared about the same man, the man I love over all others<\/p>\n The man I’ve known and loved for almost 30 years.<\/p>\n As a child of God, a woman, and a human being trying to find her way,<\/p>\n I am<\/em> you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I know what is expected of me.<\/p>\n The world says I should be bitter and angry<\/p>\n That I should hate you and him and myself<\/p>\n That I should let his choice to share a tiny part of his life with you<\/p>\n Negate the beauty and love of the decades he has shared with me.<\/p>\n I’m supposed to make his life miserable<\/p>\n And I’m supposed to rip my family apart and pull my children from their father<\/p>\n All because, for a little while, he needed and wanted you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I won’t do it.<\/p>\n I choose love.<\/p>\n I choose love now and every day.<\/p>\n I choose love whether or not it feels good at the time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And for you I pray that someday you’ll find a love<\/p>\n Like the one he and I have shared for so long.<\/p>\n Because I’ve been you I know that’s what you’ve been searching for and<\/p>\n What you desperately want.<\/p>\n Just understand that you can’t find it by borrowing someone else’s love.<\/p>\n That’s just a mirage.<\/p>\n An illusion.<\/p>\n You’ll have to find it by offering more than your body<\/p>\n And giving your love without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n Then, one day you’ll realize that you’re worth having it all<\/p>\n And not just minutes of another woman’s husband.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I want you to choose that for yourself.<\/p>\n Choose love.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You think you’ve stolen him from me, but you haven’t. You’ve only borrowed him Like someone borrows a library book to enjoy for a little while And then you have to return it. Think of me as the\u00a0librarian. He always comes back to me. Our…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/52"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2306"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2652,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2306\/revisions\/2652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}