Windy hilltop,<\/p>\n
grizzled chest bared to the elements,<\/p>\n
those about me concerned but ineffective<\/p>\n
this is a war within myself \u00a0that I must win and lose<\/p>\n
Win and lose in simultaneous tumbling tossing warring wrestling striving full energy, at full speed,, rocketing through existential space unable to put the buggy over to the edge of the speedway to replace a throw rotor or rotate the tires.<\/p>\n
I am still me. \u00a0I touch me. \u00a0I am here.<\/p>\n
I can trust and like and know myself, but there is a need for a course correction, right now, long before any reinforcements can cross the blood-brain barrier.<\/p>\n
My inner fool throws me on my face to beat the rocky slope and squander energy crying \u00a0“It’s not fair it’s not fair…. \u00a0not fair…not…”<\/p>\n
My regal self knows I am fine,, just fine, better than fine, everybody should wish to be so fine, so wise, so clever, so full of understanding. \u00a0It is the rest of the world that needs adjustment, not me. \u00a0I am wonderful. \u00a0All-knowing, full of power and might and right. \u00a0Do not mess with me!<\/p>\n
But I can read on the face of my loyal loving companion that there is something wrong, \u00a0I am bouncing back and forth between arrogance and despair, between growls of self-loathing and precious moments spent stroking my bold certainty.<\/p>\n
I raise my once powerful arms to the heavens in entreaty, and from between the gaps in my remaining teeth is torn the tormented cry, as I war with myself,<\/p>\n
Let me Not be \u00a0MAD! Not Mad!<\/p>\n
I tear the remaining strands from my exposed head and howl, while at the same time I pet myself for comfort.<\/p>\n
There there, there there. \u00a0It will pass, as it always does, and we will face the wreckage of life after the storm and build again.<\/p>\n
If there is time.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Windy hilltop, grizzled chest bared to the elements, those about me concerned but ineffective this is a war within myself \u00a0that I must win and lose Win and lose in simultaneous tumbling tossing warring wrestling striving full energy, at full speed,, rocketing through existential space…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":736,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25396","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25396","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/736"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25396"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25396\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25490,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25396\/revisions\/25490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25396"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}