For $2000 a month
\nI live in a closet
\nWith shabby windows
\nthe cold creeps in during the winters
\nAnd the heat assaults its way in on summer days
\nI\u2019m either bundled up or lounging in underwear<\/p>\n
The rat is the worst of it
\nBeady little eyes
\nTiny little creepy teeth<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t look at me like that,\u201d he chitters while he devours my leftover sandwich.
\n\u201cI can\u2019t help it; you\u2019re disgusting.\u201d
\n\u201cHeh. Look in the mirror lately, toots?!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not kicking you out per se, but can you bathe regularly? You smell.\u201d
\nThe rat leans back picking at his teeth with one of my paperclips.
\n\u201cOnly if you buy me that lavender stuff.\u201d
\nI roll my eyes. That lavender stuff is $50 a bottle.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s a proper NYC rat.
\nAs big as a cat.
\nMoody and insolent.
\nTerrible breath.
\nGoes by the name of Chad.
\nWTF, right? Chad?<\/p>\n
I could move out, but I\u2019m used to this rat.
\n\u201cThe lavender stuff is in the bathroom,\u201d I say.
\nHe skitters across the floor.
\nHonestly isn\u2019t the worst roommate I\u2019ve ever had.
\nI was once married.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For $2000 a month I live in a closet With shabby windows the cold creeps in during the winters And the heat assaults its way in on summer days I\u2019m either bundled up or lounging in underwear The rat is the worst of it Beady…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":817,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[1901,1903,1902],"class_list":["post-25469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem","tag-animal","tag-rodent","tag-roommate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/817"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25469"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25497,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25469\/revisions\/25497"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}