i have built a wall around me<\/p>\n
and i am living from within<\/p>\n
wrapped myself up tight in the busy recesses of my own mind<\/p>\n
set myself on auto pilot and i’m slowly checking out-<\/p>\n
waiting for the walls to crumble.<\/p>\n
tired of air seeping in<\/p>\n
but dutifully and uncontrollably i inhale it-<\/p>\n
tense, sweet, stifling-<\/p>\n
i breathe anyway-<\/p>\n
sometimes holding the exhale as long as i can<\/p>\n
before i have to draw up again-<\/p>\n
suck up that cool breeze called air-inhale the life i need so desperately-<\/p>\n
i breathe anyway.<\/p>\n
i have tried to contain the demons marching around my heart<\/p>\n
calling me into the darkness-<\/p>\n
i have pulled myself up out of the mire many days<\/p>\n
and resurrected the smile i used to carry-<\/p>\n
keep in my pocket like a ray of sunshine and hope<\/p>\n
but the tide came too far ashore<\/p>\n
and pulled the sand out from under my feet<\/p>\n
now i sit contemplating how high this wall has grown-<\/p>\n
how deep this pit has become-<\/p>\n
but i breathe anyway.<\/p>\n
i have tried to call in the calvary-<\/p>\n
to claim my stake with the romeos of the past<\/p>\n
but each one faded into the sidewalk and got covered over<\/p>\n
with busy lives and untold schemes;<\/p>\n
carrying in their backpacks little pieces of my heart-<\/p>\n
some owning bigger chunks than others-<\/p>\n
silently retreating to their own guilded corners of the world.<\/p>\n
did they care at all?<\/p>\n
do they even know that i’m inside these walls crumbling piece by piece?<\/p>\n
oozing into the deep dark earth like time-<\/p>\n
disappearing way too fast –<\/p>\n
and i breathe anyway.<\/p>\n
i have looked to friends-<\/p>\n
to the faces of my sister\/friends who think i am the life of the party-<\/p>\n
who keeps them laughing when i’m broken inside;<\/p>\n
i have screamed it from the rooftops-<\/p>\n
gone banging on doors in the middle of the night<\/p>\n
crying for my sanity-<\/p>\n
pleading for the calm quiet to begin<\/p>\n
but the peace snubbed its nose at me and waved its middle finger-<\/p>\n
and look at me-<\/p>\n
i breathed anyway.<\/p>\n
holding onto a psychotic illusion-<\/p>\n
a fantasy gone wild-<\/p>\n
living under the guise that one day i’ll be happy<\/p>\n
and free with no need to breathe at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
i have built a wall around me and i am living from within wrapped myself up tight in the busy recesses of my own mind set myself on auto pilot and i’m slowly checking out- waiting for the walls to crumble. tired of air seeping…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3822","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3822"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3822\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3835,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3822\/revisions\/3835"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}