WHERE THERE IS LIGHT<\/p>\n
The constant of time is staggering, bewildering, and heartbreaking. In my perpetual silence, please hear all the words I want to say, but can’t. In my absence, please know there’s no place I wish I could’ve been more. I have raged against heaven. But for you, I tried. Eternity now sits around my neck, — Saskia Lynge \/ Hour 9<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" WHERE THERE IS LIGHT The constant of time is staggering, bewildering, and heartbreaking. So tonight, I will time to stop. I do not ask, I do not beg, I will it. Just for a moment. Let me sit in the stillness of a void I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":812,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,13,441,1],"tags":[2568,2567,2390,2376,2566,2223,2565,1997,1582,49,23,31,410,2116,2378,48,706],"class_list":["post-38548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-half-marathon-poem","category-miscellaneous","category-poetry-prompt-responses","category-uncategorized","tag-3moretogo","tag-fightgod","tag-halfmarathon","tag-hour9","tag-infinityscarf","tag-poetryhalfmarathon2017","tag-wherethereislight","tag-brothers","tag-eternity","tag-hope","tag-life","tag-love","tag-memories","tag-poetrymarathon2017","tag-spiders","tag-time","tag-truth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/812"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38548"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38548\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39613,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38548\/revisions\/39613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nSo tonight, I will<\/em> time to stop. I do not ask, I do not beg, I will<\/em> it.
\nJust for a moment.
\nLet me sit in the stillness of a void I cannot explain.
\nLet me feel what I need to feel to move forward, to let go, to hold on,
\nwithout the rushing noise of the world nipping at my heels.<\/p>\n
\nNot because words fail me, but because there are too many.
\nYou were just a child when I let a Jezebel exile me.
\nI was torn between two choices, but\u00a0wanted nothing more than to stay.
\nFoolishly, I let her win at her devious game.<\/p>\n
\nYou were my family, my brothers.
\nYou still are – though you are all grown now and I am so far away.
\nSo many years I missed, watching you grow up from the shadows.
\nAlways proud and always cheering you on.
\nThe what-if’s still haunt me, like orbs of darkness in the corners of my eye.
\nPerhaps one day, you’ll know the truth,
\nthen perhaps I can forgive myself for not being who I thought I would be.<\/p>\n
\nI have fought with God for answers and vindication –
\nI begged for years to return home, to return to you,
\nbut his answer was “no”, and I do not know why.
\nMy life has never been my own, obedience was paramount.
\nAnd one cannot fight God and win.<\/p>\n
\nI beat the gates with steel fists and stormed the streets with iron boots.
\nIn my defeat, know that every blow, every strike,
\nevery plea was felt and heard.
\nGod did not answer lightly or cruelly.
\nThe decision wasn’t completely his as he cannot rape man’s will.
\nPerhaps one day hope can rise from the ashes of what was stolen.<\/p>\n
\nlike an infinity scarf, warming me from grief’s chill,
\nas I wait for the day I tread upon the head of a hissing snake
\nand destroy the nest of spiders beside it.
\nYet within the light of eternity,
\nwithin the light of every rising and setting sun, I think of you.
\nAnd though my heart bears the weight of deferred hope, I smile.
\nBecause you are a sun in a very dark world.
\nAnd where there is light, there will always be love and hope.<\/p>\n