You were all smile and elbows.
\nI was young and stupid and didn’t know
\nthat I would not forget the first time
\nI saw you, all those many years ago.
\nAnd we were close for what seemed like
\nforever, and maybe it was.<\/p>\n
I wasn’t a poet then.
\nI could barely rhyme.
\nAll I wanted was a kiss.
\nwhich I’ve never gotten,
\nwhich I was too shy to ask for.
\nI eventually knew
\nthat I shouldn’t.
\nBut I’ve held you when
\nyou cried
\nbecause they laughed at you.
\nHeld you while you laughed
\nat our private jokes.
\nI knew your many secrets,
\nbut I had to let them go
\nbecause some friends
\nare more important than
\nkisses.<\/p>\n
But<\/p>\n
I can still feel the way
\nyou moved, feel your warmth
\nagainst my hand and my cheek.
\nTo this day,
\non rare occasions that I let
\nsomeone touch me,
\nit’s still you that I measure
\ntheir heat against.<\/p>\n
Some things you just can’t forget.<\/p>\n
I confess that I no longer love you.
\nHaven’t in a long time.
\nHow could I?
\nBut I still watch from afar
\nas you approach life with
\nthe joy
\nthat you do.
\nAnd I’m happy for you,
\nthat your life is what you
\nwant it to be.
\nThat it’s not with me,
\nthat’s not a subject for me
\nto worry over.
\nYou’re where you should be.
\nAs am I.<\/p>\n
I am not the one who holds you at night.
\nI am not the one who kisses you good morning.
\nI wouldn’t be if I could.
\nIt took me many years to realize
\nthat I never was and never would have been.
\nBut what I am
\nis
\nthe man who has taken
\nthe desire you inspired
\nand used it to drive a life
\nof verse,
\nof poetry,
\nand yes,
\nof lust,
\nthrough the heart
\nof a stack of pages
\nwith a steadily flowing
\npen.<\/p>\n
I find no regret in that.
\nI dream of us as we
\nnever could have been.
\nNo regret in that either.
\nI never once saw you that way,
\nour modesty forbade,
\nbut I could describe you
\nnonetheless.
\nMy only regret is
\nthat
\nI have never forgotten enough
\nof you to remember
\nsomeone else
\nso clearly.<\/p>\n
I can go back to that very first day,
\nwhen you sat alone
\nat the head of the table,
\nand I was smitten
\nand couldn’t understand
\nwhy no one else
\nwas.
\nThe day when you introduced yourself,
\nI became a poet.
\nI just wasn’t aware of it.
\nYet.
\nSo maybe I do love you still.
\nJust a little bit.
\nBut you can’t love me back
\nor I’d have nothing to base
\nthe life of a poet on.
\nAnd that’s all the life I have.
\nThen where would I be,
\na bankrupt old wordsmith
\nwith no foundation
\nleft
\nfor his words.
\nI have all the love I need,
\nbecause I can’t have yours.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You were all smile and elbows. I was young and stupid and didn’t know that I would not forget the first time I saw you, all those many years ago. And we were close for what seemed like forever, and maybe it was. I wasn’t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1052,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1052"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54123"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54172,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54123\/revisions\/54172"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}