{"id":58466,"date":"2019-06-24T13:23:08","date_gmt":"2019-06-24T17:23:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/?p=58466"},"modified":"2019-06-24T13:23:08","modified_gmt":"2019-06-24T17:23:08","slug":"twelfth-hour-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/2019\/06\/twelfth-hour-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Twelfth Hour"},"content":{"rendered":"

What have I done?<\/span><\/p>\n

Swore I wouldn’t do it<\/span><\/p>\n

Tried every way I could\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

to avoid it<\/span><\/p>\n

Tried so hard<\/span><\/p>\n

I gotta step back<\/span><\/p>\n

Think\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Take a breath<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Shake it off<\/span><\/p>\n

Calm Down<\/span><\/p>\n

Trying to wrap my head\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

around it<\/span><\/p>\n

Trying to give it up<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s hard-<\/span><\/p>\n

The voice saying:<\/span><\/p>\n

Take me<\/span><\/p>\n

Do it<\/span><\/p>\n

Pick me up<\/span><\/p>\n

You know you want it<\/span><\/p>\n

END IT!<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yes,”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yes I do.” I say to myself<\/span><\/p>\n

I do want to end it<\/span><\/p>\n

Picked it up-\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

turned it over and over<\/span><\/p>\n

Felt the coolness<\/span><\/p>\n

the power<\/span><\/p>\n

didn’t tremble though<\/span><\/p>\n

Not trembling<\/span><\/p>\n

Not going to be weak<\/span><\/p>\n

over it<\/span><\/p>\n

done with it<\/span><\/p>\n

dumped in the garbage can<\/span><\/p>\n

step back<\/span><\/p>\n

Take a breath<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

take another<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out<\/span><\/p>\n

Shake it off<\/span><\/p>\n

Back away<\/span><\/p>\n

clench fists<\/span><\/p>\n

sink to your knees<\/span><\/p>\n

Scream<\/span><\/p>\n

Was so close<\/span><\/p>\n

Too close<\/span><\/p>\n

Wanted it so bad<\/span><\/p>\n

needed it so bad<\/span><\/p>\n

Still trying to avoid<\/span><\/p>\n

not sure how long<\/span><\/p>\n

constant constant\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyday battle<\/span><\/p>\n

Get up<\/span><\/p>\n

dust off<\/span><\/p>\n

save the fight<\/span><\/p>\n

for another day<\/span><\/p>\n

Hurts so bad<\/span><\/p>\n

Want the pain<\/span><\/p>\n

Want to be numb<\/span><\/p>\n

Just not the stain<\/span><\/p>\n

Gotta step back<\/span><\/p>\n

Take a breath<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

works just a little<\/span><\/p>\n

Still not in control<\/span><\/p>\n

Still feeling bad<\/span><\/p>\n

want the control<\/span><\/p>\n

NEED the control<\/span><\/p>\n

Still on my knees<\/span><\/p>\n

Cant see cause\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

the tears<\/span><\/p>\n

Begging you please<\/span><\/p>\n

Make me step back<\/span><\/p>\n

Take a breath<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out<\/span><\/p>\n

Shake it off<\/span><\/p>\n

Let me calm down<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m on the edge<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m going to break<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m going to fall<\/span><\/p>\n

I can feel it<\/span><\/p>\n

Sucks don’t it?<\/span><\/p>\n

Work everyday<\/span><\/p>\n

hard as hell<\/span><\/p>\n

to shake it off\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

but you can’t<\/span><\/p>\n

Damn- Nothing’s going right<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything’s a mess<\/span><\/p>\n

I can’t do it anymore<\/span><\/p>\n

everything’s out of control<\/span><\/p>\n

I can take it anymore<\/span><\/p>\n

Scream<\/span><\/p>\n

Cry<\/span><\/p>\n

Punch the wall<\/span><\/p>\n

FUCK! It hurts<\/span><\/p>\n

Laying on the floor<\/span><\/p>\n

Staring up at the ceiling<\/span><\/p>\n

exhausted beyond reason<\/span><\/p>\n

Can’t do it anymore<\/span><\/p>\n

Crying ever so softly<\/span><\/p>\n

Completely drained<\/span><\/p>\n

close my eyes<\/span><\/p>\n

Tears pour out like rain<\/span><\/p>\n

Take a breath<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out<\/span><\/p>\n

take another<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out<\/span><\/p>\n

One more<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out<\/span><\/p>\n

Feeling the same\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

but better<\/span><\/p>\n

Still in pain<\/span><\/p>\n

not so bitter<\/span><\/p>\n

Can’t believe\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

that I was so close<\/span><\/p>\n

too close if you ask me<\/span><\/p>\n

Close my eyes<\/span><\/p>\n

Take a breath<\/span><\/p>\n

Let it out<\/span><\/p>\n

Shook it off Now I’m calm.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What have I done? Swore I wouldn’t do it Tried every way I could\u00a0 to avoid it Tried so hard I gotta step back Think\u00a0 Take a breath Let it out\u00a0 Shake it off Calm Down Trying to wrap my head\u00a0 around it Trying to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1290,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-58466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1290"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58466"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":58467,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58466\/revisions\/58467"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}