Must enter her other mindset before she arrives
\nWeirdly standing back supporting loving
\nCant I do all the same
\nBut still wow, alone home writing during
\nThinking imagining where she is
\nTwo different paths in my mind
\nOne knows she did this many times
\nOne wildly enticed and struggling
\nLast night dreaming about it – the seedy allure
\nShe still makes me feel special
\nShe works hard to make it ok
\nMy calming mother about to fucked and spat on
\nI would do the same
\nI did the same
\nIf I had slept I would be anxious
\nFeeling mechanical
\nI want to accept her love, weird a niggle holds me back
\nFleeing to her immediately
\nShe pulls back from kissing me
\nHer loving mouth still in its numb mode.
\nshe doesn\u2019t want to inflict the corruption
\nI think she must feel unlovable
\nEnacting to be so totally used
\nExposed to what blights her peace and darkens from her earliest days
\nShe expects it to happen again, better on her terms than against
\nNot drugged and not sold, but voluntary this time.
\nEvery rational cog dedicated to justifying
\nan object in someone else\u2019s game
\nThe empty saying of nice things is a tiny cost for such lust.
\nFinding someone already \u2018broken in\u2019 by trauma
\na gift of an outlet for those wanting to abuse.
\nEarliest intimacy determining
\nBefore she could think this went inside.
\nPlay a return to childhood,
\nbut what a childhood!
\nI met her there, on the floor, in the saliva and unknown semen.
\nIn heart I held her hair back and touched her tears.
\nShe couldn’t hug him in the end – she couldn’t pretend this time.
\nShe knew I was there.
\nI am no better, almost certainly worse.
\nI give her all of me knowing I will always fall short.
\nHe fucked me too
\nIts not new
\nComfortably numb beside my love
\nTwo half children attempting a whole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Must enter her other mindset before she arrives Weirdly standing back supporting loving Cant I do all the same But still wow, alone home writing during Thinking imagining where she is Two different paths in my mind One knows she did this many times One…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1431,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-60353","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60353","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1431"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=60353"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60353\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":60354,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60353\/revisions\/60354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=60353"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=60353"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=60353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}