{"id":63508,"date":"2020-06-27T11:08:55","date_gmt":"2020-06-27T15:08:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/?p=63508"},"modified":"2020-06-27T14:07:05","modified_gmt":"2020-06-27T18:07:05","slug":"63508","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/2020\/06\/63508\/","title":{"rendered":"THE IMMACULATE KITCHEN"},"content":{"rendered":"

THE IMMACULATE KITCHEN:\u00a0 COVID-CLEAN THOSE GROCERIES<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Gather your tools. Know what you’re doing.\u00a0 Step up. \u00a0Shake a leg.<\/li>\n
  2. In the immaculate kitchen one should not be deterred.<\/li>\n
  3. You are the god. Purify!\u00a0 99% effective everywhere \u2013 bleach infused. Wipe, wipe. Pretend you’ve forgotten that 1%.\u00a0 Pretend you’ve invincible.<\/li>\n
  4. Purify is your mantra. Say it again.\u00a0 A hundred times.<\/li>\n
  5. In the immaculate kitchen one must be adamant. Quarantine non-perishables like your very own self.\u00a0 Any old remote closet or garage will do.<\/li>\n
  6. Forget what you risked in the grocery’s narrow aisles for that oatmeal, crackers, flour, pasta, cookies, dried mango, coffee filters. Stow them. Out of sight, out of mind.\u00a0 Shut your heart to them for three days.<\/li>\n
  7. Don’t cheat! In the immaculate kitchen one should not lie. That bleach on the spouts of milk cartons? Shut your eyes.\u00a0 Count to 100.\u00a0 Say it again, purify, purify.<\/em><\/li>\n
  8. Don’t inhale.\u00a0 Avoid the eyes.\u00a0 Wash your hands until they are raw.<\/li>\n
  9. Those gloves you thought would save you? Sweaty, musty, water-logged.<\/li>\n
  10. You are the god. Turn on the fan. Shut\/open your eyes.\u00a0 In the immaculate kitchen one should not be deterred.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    THE IMMACULATE KITCHEN:\u00a0 COVID-CLEAN THOSE GROCERIES Gather your tools. Know what you’re doing.\u00a0 Step up. \u00a0Shake a leg. In the immaculate kitchen one should not be deterred. You are the god. Purify!\u00a0 99% effective everywhere \u2013 bleach infused. Wipe, wipe. Pretend you’ve forgotten that 1%.\u00a0…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":768,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-63508","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63508","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/768"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=63508"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63508\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":63582,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63508\/revisions\/63582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=63508"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=63508"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=63508"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}