Rock Bottom is where you start from
\nThat’s what The Program.
\nThe same twelve steps for everything
\nFrom booze to smack to sex to love.
\nAll starting from rock bottom.<\/p>\n
Maybe I never hit it.
\nI read a book by a lady
\nwith the last name of song
\nand two years of memories spun
\ncherished keepsakes hurtling
\nlanded like the sick twist of an
\nunexpected diabolus ex machina.<\/p>\n
Affection recast as symptom,
\ndevotion revealed as obsession.
\nDefense shown as avoidance.
\nLove swapped out for addiction.<\/p>\n
It felt cruel, capricious, ugly beyond measure.
\nAnd true, undeniable.\u00a0 Correct.
\nSomething beautiful, an inner treasure,
\nhad sprung from a poisoned pit in my soul.
\nI recoiled from it,retreated from it,
\nwept and swore at the loss
\nof who I’d thought we were
\nat knowing too much of where we’d come from.<\/p>\n
And no addict gets better chasing their high.
\nEvery junky and drunk knows that much.
\nSo I had to say it, a slow, messy goodbye.
\nIt felt like pulling a tooth:raw-red, bloody
\na part of me yanked out, irreplaceable
\nMy mind still runs over the spot, searching
\nfor what it remembers, what feels like
\nit should still be there. And it still hurts.<\/p>\n
Every time.\u00a0 Every day.\u00a0 Which maybe means I’m not better.
\nOr maybe means I still haven’t found rock bottom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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