If I said I didn\u2019t miss travel – I’d be lying.
\nI love vacations! But I don’t like flying. <\/p>\n
I\u2019ll tell you why I hate to fly.
\nIt\u2019s not because I think I\u2019ll die.
\nSure, it\u2019s safe. I know we\u2019ll make it.
\nIt\u2019s the other stuff. I just can\u2019t take it! <\/p>\n
Added fees for the extra bags.
\nBoarding passes. Luggage tags.
\nLong lines through security.
\nShowing passports and ID. <\/p>\n
Taking off my belt and shoes.
\nAngry agents. Careless crews.
\nLong delays from wind and rain.
\nAnd that\u2019s before I board the plane!<\/p>\n
Once I board, it just gets worse.
\nFlight attendants acting terse.
\nRecycled air that stinks like feet.
\nCountless fart-stains on my seat. <\/p>\n
Being stuck in the plane\u2019s last row.
\nMiddle seat. With no window.
\nA fat guy squished in next to me,
\nWho keeps on getting up to pee.<\/p>\n
Broken seats that won\u2019t recline.
\nThe flashing \u201cFasten Seatbelt\u201d sign.
\nYapping dogs without a muzzle.
\nHalf-completed crossword puzzles. <\/p>\n
The old man who just drones and drones,
\nAnd doesn\u2019t care that I wear headphones.
\nWho keeps on asking, \u201cSo, where ya headin?\u201d
\nI just told him! But he keeps forgetting.<\/p>\n
Constant bumps from peoples\u2019 butts.
\nSnack bags \u201cfilled\u201d with five peanuts.
\nPassengers who are barely dressed.
\nFighting for that one armrest. <\/p>\n
Being stuck in the plane\u2019s back section,
\nStressed about my tight connection,
\nAs old folks with nowhere else to go,
\nTake their time and walk too slow. <\/p>\n
Food that tastes like mushy wood.
\nIn-flight movies that aren\u2019t good.
\nWeirdos on my shoulder sleeping.
\nConstant whirs and dings and beeping.<\/p>\n
That one dude eating a tuna sub,
\nNow the whole plane reeks like a sea lion cub.
\nOr the gal who packed her own bag lunch,
\nAnd is chomping pickles by the bunch. <\/p>\n
Overhead bins that are always full.
\nBlankets made from itchy wool.
\nFirst time flyers scared of flying.
\nBabies who will not stop crying.<\/p>\n
The jerk who won\u2019t get off his phone
\nAnd makes his conversation known,
\nBut when asked if he\u2019s in \u201cairplane mode\u201d,
\nGets loud and angry like he may explode.<\/p>\n
Old tray tables that keep on sticking.
\nToddlers who will not stop kicking
\nNot enough air, or way too much.
\nPlus, coughing, sneezing, germs and such.<\/p>\n
All these things are the reasons why,
\nI absolutely hate to fly.
\nSo many things that I can\u2019t stand.
\nThe one part I like though? When we land!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If I said I didn\u2019t miss travel – I’d be lying. I love vacations! But I don’t like flying. I\u2019ll tell you why I hate to fly. It\u2019s not because I think I\u2019ll die. Sure, it\u2019s safe. I know we\u2019ll make it. It\u2019s the other…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1359,"featured_media":72574,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[680],"class_list":["post-72924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marathon-poem","tag-poetrymarathon"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1359"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=72924"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72924\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":72934,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72924\/revisions\/72934"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/72574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=72924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=72924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=72924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}