My mind has not been a haven for me for the longest,
\nHad the lights out and learnt that the human mind,
\nIt can be its own horror story.
\nI continue to fuel the fire to my mental purgatory.
\nBe welcomed by Sadness,
\nHook-up with Heartbreak,
\nAnd sleep with Regret.
\nAnd fight over Joy with Anger.
\nRepeat this cycle over and over like the playlist you play,
\nWhen someone breaks you.<\/p>\n
My mind has not been a paradise for me,
\nIt has been the breeding ground for doubt and a home for my demons.
\nDressed as friends after I failed to throw them out,
\nSo they agreed to let me stay since they were willing to share their home.
\nBut every night after playing keep-away with my dreams I lose a part of myself,
\nI find myself lost in it every night,
\nWhen the calls are ended, the lights are off,
\nAnd my thoughts are turned on.<\/p>\n
I wish I could find myself in my own home,
\nBut this house I called home is anything but.
\nI wish I could evict all the terrors and finally return,
\nSo I stop pitching tents in the hearts of people that are overbooked as it is,
\nWith people that come for their hearts but stay for their souls.
\nSo their heartstrings intertwine and their souls tie.
\nSo I can stop wandering the lonely streets at night even though they are filled with people.
\nStop spending nights on the streets with people that call them home.
\nBecause I can never settle for someone who cannot stay in the same place for a long time.
\nI want peace, serenity, and consistency.<\/p>\n
To stop having to close my eyes to see the girl of my dreams,
\nImagining perfect in a place so chaotic,
\nBecause it makes me fall for the damaged thinking my damaged nature can create a whole.
\nLet my eyes see the truth in reality and stop breaking itself in imagination,
\nAnd open my eyes and search for her,
\nSo I know if dreams come true and know,
\nWhether my heart or mind has influenced my taste in women.<\/p>\n
But I have taken depression out of my life equation,
\nBut anger, sadness, and loneliness still equal mood swings,
\nAnd I still fail to control those.
\nThey divide my lifespan,
\nAdd on to my life’s problems,
\nAnd subtract more people from my life,
\nAs they multiply in my mind.
\nI long for joy, not happiness.
\nBecause happiness is temporary and I have to rely on people,
\nFor people to give me my scheduled fix of happiness.<\/p>\n
I have waged war on my demons for too long,
\nTried to make them acquaintances,
\nBut my head cannot house a halo as it grows a pair of horns.
\nI search for purpose as I remove my toxicity from my being,
\nEradicate my flaws by accepting them,
\nAnd seeing them as perfect,
\nBecause, I need to clear my mind and start afresh,
\nClear out the old couple pictures,
\nLeave my aspirations.
\nAnd unlock all the doors.
\nI long to be free,
\nI long to be me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My mind has not been a haven for me for the longest, Had the lights out and learnt that the human mind, It can be its own horror story. I continue to fuel the fire to my mental purgatory. Be welcomed by Sadness, Hook-up with…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1425,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-75007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1425"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75007"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":75329,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75007\/revisions\/75329"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}