{"id":75679,"date":"2020-06-28T08:35:40","date_gmt":"2020-06-28T12:35:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/?p=75679"},"modified":"2020-06-28T09:01:02","modified_gmt":"2020-06-28T13:01:02","slug":"shadenfreude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/2020\/06\/shadenfreude\/","title":{"rendered":"Shadenfreude"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shadenfreude<\/strong><\/p>\n

My life is a mess
\nas one can guess
\nso humor me if you would
\nlisten to my tale
\nand try not to pale
\nTrust this is gonna be good<\/p>\n

So I smashed my face
\non a couch today
\nHave the scrapes and cuts to prove
\nthat one shouldn’t chase
\nthe cat in a small space
\nThis poem is not going to improve<\/p>\n

I broke my own heart
\n(really not that smart)
\nbut I thought it would be different somehow
\nWhat did I expect?
\nI was bound to get wrecked
\nNothing I can do anyhow…<\/p>\n

Then the family went nuts
\nand I ended up the schmutz
\n(It’s what usually tends to transpire)
\nWho cares about deadlines
\nor your ridiculous confines?
\nI’d be better off writing in barbed-wire<\/p>\n

Then dramatics ensued
\nas they usually do
\nand I was thrown under the bus
\nWhen two people get pissed
\nThe obvious is missed
\nYour dramatics I don’t want to discuss<\/p>\n

So there was a load of wasted time
\nand assholes blowing up my line
\n(You’d think I was smart enough to shut off my phone)
\nBut sadly you’re mistaken
\nA couple’s rage was awakened
\nSeriously after all this, my mind is fucking blown.<\/p>\n

I threw out my back,
\nhow about that?
\nHave you even cracked a smile?
\nWhat do I have to do?
\nSeriously…no friggin clue.
\nUnless you’re ready to hear this pile.<\/p>\n

I’m so broke it’s a joke
\nI’d much rather a stroke
\nThan deal with anything more
\nBut as my luck would have it
\nburied beneath all the bullshit
\nIt’s no wonder I’m so fucking poor.<\/p>\n

So I’m up all night
\ndoing all this write
\nso tired my body feels like a vibe
\nsome would find that kinky
\nbut I’d much rather eat a Twinkie
\nand get some much needed shut-eye<\/p>\n

I don’t know about men,
\noh where do I begin
\ncan I just skip this and go onto the next?
\nLet’s face it, I suck
\nand I have such shit luck
\nI’m almost postive I’ve been hexed<\/p>\n

Speaking of hexed
\nlet’s talk about my ex
\n(maybe I shouldn’t, he’s kind of a dick)
\nto give him this much
\nattention and such
\nperhaps I should break out the measuring stick?<\/p>\n

I haven’t slept in days
\nand I’m feelin’ my age
\nOh the joys of morphing into a fossil
\nJust don’t go digging me up
\nDon’t you dare, you schmuck
\nThank God I’m not yet menopausal<\/p>\n

So now that I’m lagging
\non this marathon, (my ass is dragging)
\nI figured I’d bitch up a storm
\nIn hopes that maybe
\nI’ll get a little\u00a0hee hee<\/em>
\nShadenfreude has become an art form.<\/p>\n

There is far much more
\nwaiting outside my front door
\nOh the fun and the joy that will make
\nAs I finally come unglued
\nAt the next friggin dude
\nWhy? Because I’m still awake.<\/p>\n

I let out a breath
\nbecause I got nothing left
\nMy grey matter is just about spent
\nTrepanning or horseshoe scar?
\nOr perhaps a trusty crowbar
\nTo thwart off anymore argument.<\/p>\n

Feel free to laugh
\nbecause trust me, I have
\n(I seriously gave myself a black eye)
\nIt’s time for me to go
\nperhaps sneak out my window
\nbefore anything else can go awry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shadenfreude My life is a mess as one can guess so humor me if you would listen to my tale and try not to pale Trust this is gonna be good So I smashed my face on a couch today Have the scrapes and cuts…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1485,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,13],"tags":[3597,4031,4034,4036,4033,4030,4032,285,965,4035,4029,4037,315,4028],"class_list":["post-75679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-half-marathon-poem","category-miscellaneous","tag-2020halfmarathon","tag-bad-day","tag-bad-eveything","tag-bad-luck","tag-bad-month","tag-bad-week","tag-bad-year","tag-funny","tag-humor","tag-laugh-because-you-know-you-want-to","tag-lyric","tag-murphys-law","tag-sarcasm","tag-shadenfreude"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1485"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75679"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75679\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":76630,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75679\/revisions\/76630"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}