I wanted to die
\nI was so miserable
\nyet I was victorious
\nall I did was lay in bed<\/p>\n
There were days
\nI lived in filth
\ndirty dishes
\nno where to sit
\nrotted food
\ntrash<\/p>\n
I couldn’t clean
\nI didn’t want to
\nI had no energy
\nto move my head
\nlet alone my hands<\/p>\n
I could be bothered
\nI didn’t see the problem
\nthe filth-
\nI was blind to it all<\/p>\n
I cried when I finally
\nsaw the filth I’d been living
\nwith<\/p>\n
But I didn’t know
\nwhere to actually start
\nThe mess was oh so overwhelming<\/p>\n
There goes the rotted food
\nthe dish in the sink
\nso tired
\nso tired<\/p>\n
The smell
\nOh God
\nthe smell
\nGreasy hair
\nEEWW!!-
\nI think this
\nshirt is matted to my skin<\/p>\n
I have a couch cushion now
\nComfy
\nsoft
\nThat fuzzy blanket<\/p>\n
The laundry is rioting again
\non the chair
\nin the tub
\non the floor and
\nunder my butt<\/p>\n
Sticky floors
\na cleaned corner
\nof the counter
\nthat wrapper can go
\ninto the trash<\/p>\n
What is that stain on my skin?
\nIt looks like I’ve been rolling
\naround in the dirt<\/p>\n
But the thought of a shower-
\nToo traumatizing now<\/p>\n
Two hours later
\nand I’m still on the floor
\ntowel clutched around
\nmy naked body
\nI can’t do it<\/p>\n
I’m so scared
\nI am fighting my own
\nhead-
\nand what it’s telling me to do<\/p>\n
I just want to breathe
\nJust breathe
\nOnce
\nTwice
\nslow
\nslow<\/p>\n
This shampoo
\nsmells good
\nfeels good in my hair<\/p>\n
Maybe it’s ok to get clean
\nsmell better-
\nmaybe it’s ok<\/p>\n
I smell better
\nclean clothes on
\nmaybe grocery shopping<\/p>\n
That means going outside
\nexercise
\nfresh air-<\/p>\n
Am I ready for this?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I wanted to die I was so miserable yet I was victorious all I did was lay in bed There were days I lived in filth dirty dishes no where to sit rotted food trash I couldn’t clean I didn’t want to I had no…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1290,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93110","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93110","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1290"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=93110"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93110\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":93117,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93110\/revisions\/93117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=93110"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=93110"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=93110"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}