Whoever said men cannot bake<\/p>\n
A chocolate-covered birthday cake<\/p>\n
Or crusty bread from sourdough<\/p>\n
With luscious spreads atop to go?<\/p>\n
“Forest Ranger Elmer Kraut<\/p>\n
Will want to get his mixer out,”<\/p>\n
Says Jerry Jenkins with a grin,<\/p>\n
Absolutely sure he’ll win<\/p>\n
Any bake-off with this foe,<\/p>\n
Who doesn’t even seem to know<\/p>\n
That puce and brown and periwinkle<\/p>\n
Are not the proper shades to sprinkle<\/p>\n
Cakes with the very lofty purpose<\/p>\n
To entice us and divert us.<\/p>\n
The storefront of Bob Chitlin’s shop<\/p>\n
Provides the space to mix and chop.<\/p>\n
Both men want very much to win.<\/p>\n
The prize: a pint of finest gin.<\/p>\n
With aprons on, they take their places<\/p>\n
And bake the goods of baking races.<\/p>\n
Now Bob, he is the best of judges<\/p>\n
And never takes sides or begrudges<\/p>\n
The rightful winner of the match<\/p>\n
To whom he gives his treasured cache.<\/p>\n
This time though, it went too far<\/p>\n
When both men emptied Bob’s own bar<\/p>\n
When Elmer Kraut had finished making<\/p>\n
The cake, now in the oven baking,<\/p>\n
He sat down on a rattan chair<\/p>\n
And Jerry Jenkins joined him there.<\/p>\n
They sipped the last of Chitlin’s wine<\/p>\n
Not asking Chitlin, bear in mind.<\/p>\n
And when the baking cakes were done,<\/p>\n
Did all the neighbors have their fun.<\/p>\n
Kraut’s angelfood looks like a spare<\/p>\n
Tire gone flat from lack of air.<\/p>\n
Jerry Jenkins’ laughs at that<\/p>\n
Until he sees his own so flat.<\/p>\n
Bob Chitlin laughs sardonically<\/p>\n
And grabs the pint ironically.<\/p>\n
When neither Bob or Jerry wins,<\/p>\n
Then old Bob Chitlin claims the gin.<\/p>\n
So that’s the tale of two men baking –<\/p>\n
A sad but humorous undertaking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Whoever said men cannot bake A chocolate-covered birthday cake Or crusty bread from sourdough With luscious spreads atop to go? “Forest Ranger Elmer Kraut Will want to get his mixer out,” Says Jerry Jenkins with a grin, Absolutely sure he’ll win Any bake-off with this…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3712,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-97319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-half-marathon-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3712"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=97319"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":100995,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97319\/revisions\/100995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=97319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=97319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepoetrymarathon.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=97319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}