Villanelle – When I Am Far From Home
I get guilty thinking of home,
not being within these walls
somewhere, that I don’t belong.
Sometimes it feels right; sometimes wrong
walking up and down the same halls
and I get guilty thinking of home.
Music sounds the same in every song;
and watching as the time falls
away, somewhere that I don’t belong.
I started weak, I finished strong;
time moving fast, and still life stalls
when I get guilty thinking of home.
I know that I am never alone.
How many times can I ignore the calls
away, somewhere that I don’t belong.
It is true the we still want to roam
away, at times we walk and some we crawl
along; getting guilty for thinking of home
as somewhere that I don’t belong.
2021©DSCoremans
Poem 24 of 24, written for the 24hr ‘Poetry Marathon’ 2021 by DS Coremans
Forever Distracted by Life
As I’m away from home right now. I feel this.
And you’re right, you are never alone
Thank you Amanda, it means a lot to me that you are able to relate to this, knowing the journey you are on at present, it is wonderful to find ourselves on shared wavelengths again.
Hope all is well.
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#FoDiByLi
I love this. I too have felt “guilty of thinking of home as somewhere I don’t belong”. You relay the yearning of moving forward and the feeling of being responsible/staying stuck very well. Thank you for writing this. And I like the way you know you are not alone
Thank you Susan, it is hard to find that sense of balance within a home life, where the dual roles of provider and individual are not locked within a state of conflict. But giving each iteration of your role a chance to mourn their own losses is a great start to finding internal unity.
Events like the marathon remind me that we are only as lonely as we choose to me, the difficult bits do require some creativity that only you can provide but after the community are there to go over things with you and celebrate the choices you have made.
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I have never tried the villanelle form, but this made me want to! The repeated words find different shades and colors with each juxtaposition.
It is a marvellous poetic form, much like the refrain lines I keep coming back to it. I discovered it as part of a university assignment last year and it has fast become one of my favourite forms, and even with quite rigid rhyme schemes and refrain lines it has a lot of room for depth and versatility. I hope you have fun with it if you do decide to try it out. =)
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#FoDiByLi
This! This you wrote when the rest were about to curl up and die?
And the guilt comes through the love.
Bravo! Very proud to know you and read this.
Thank you, I’m not sure where this came from so late in the day as it was. I normally end the marathon on a short or silly poem, but this year I found the Villanelle form in particular became a vessel for attempt at channelling the prompts. I really liked the evolution of this poem, and I’m very pleased you enjoyed reading it. =)
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#FoDiByLi
This is gorgeous and resonates with me in so many ways! We all feel some amount of guilt, I feel.